Guest Author - Lauren Evans

The past week on BB9 has been absolutely awesome. I am happy to report that Vile Alex is out of the house, although unfortunately the public were denied the pleasure of voting her out, as Big Brother was forced to intervene and send her packing. “But, why?”, I hear you ask! Allow me to fill you in…

Following Mohammed’s birthday celebrations, during which most of the house decided to dress up as a member of the opposite sex, Big Brother experienced a “technical difficulty” (yeah, right!) in the Diary Room PA system, which led to Big Bro’s question to Mohammed being broadcast to the whole house. Unfortunately, this question related to his feelings about Alex not joining in the celebrations. Upon Mo’s exit from the Diary Room, Alex unleashed one of her trademark rages on the poor bloke, branding him a bad Muslim and a “disgrace”. The argument raged for two days, which is good going when you consider that poor Mo barely got a word in edgeways.

It was no surprise on Tuesday that Alex received 9 nominations from her fellow housemates for the eviction. Up against the super-irritating but marginally more sane Mario, it was immediately apparent that Alex would be meeting Davina on Friday night, and Alex didn’t like it one little bit. She proceeded to deliver a creepy evil lecture to Darnell, during which she told him that she was looking forward to giving her “gangster friends” some instructions, that she was making plans about the rest of the housemates and that she would see all of them again, and their friends and family too. Understandably, in the face of these thinly veiled threats against the other contestants, BB had to chuck her out on her ear… and good riddance too!

Of course they wouldn’t deny us a live show on Friday night, so after cancelling the public vote, they treated us to a whole new housemate! Stu is buff, boring and appears to wear lot of eyeliner (in a hot manly way), so of course he had all the girls whipped up into a right old tizzy. Sylvia went straight for it, cornered him in bed, whispered all sorts of lovely sweet nothings to him and then, oopsie, remembered she has a serious boyfriend. Or should that be had a serious boyfriend? I am always surprised by the way reality TV contenders discuss issues such as “should I cheat on my boyfriend with this hot guy I met two minutes ago?” with each other. Of course Boyfriend is watching, and now he knows what a fickle tart you are, he’s not going to give you the option of staying with him anyway. Poor naïve Sylvia, it’s an INTERNAL monologue for a reason.

In other news, Jale/Dennifer is still plodding the yawnworthy path to possible romance, but Stuvia has quickly surpassed it in the excitement stakes. Sylvia reckons she’s not pursuing Stuart any further, but I suspect the close conditions and sheer boredom will lead to them copping off by the weekend.

Watch this space.