g Text Version
Beauty & Self
Books & Music
Food & Wine
Health & Fitness
Hobbies & Crafts
Home & Garden
News & Politics
Religion & Spirituality
Travel & Culture
TV & Movies

Bored? Games!
Take a Quiz
Rate My Photo

Natural Living
Folklore and Mythology
Distance Learning

All times in EST

Full Schedule
g Depression Site

BellaOnline's Depression Editor


Depression and the Death of Loved Ones

Guest Author - Kitten Kristine Jackson

The death of a loved one is one of the most painful and depressing things that any of us ever experiences. Many times, bouts of depression begin with the death of a loved one. Everyone goes through a period of mourning, but for those who are prone to depression, it can become debilitating and seemingly unending.

We all experience grief a little bit differently. Some people isolate themselves and spend weeks or months crying, while others constantly seek the company of others and use alcohol or drugs in an effort to numb their pain. The latter can sometimes seem uncaring, but it isnít that they donít care. They just have a hard time coping, so they try to distract themselves from the pain.

Facing the loss, and learning to accept it and cope with it are essential. Many people say that funerals are a waste of time and money since the deceased person is not there. However, as we all know, the funeral isnít really for the deceased personó-it is for the family and friends of the loved one who is gone. It is a chance for people who are grieving to share their feelings, thoughts and love with others who are feeling the same way. It is also a way to show our respect for the deceased.

There is another very important aspect of a funeral that few people discuss. When someone dies, especially if it happens unexpectedly, it is extremely difficult for us to accept. Itís hard to ďwrap your head aroundĒ the fact that this person with whom you are so close, is not coming back because he or she is really dead. That is why I believe funerals are so important. Seeing the body of the person you love lying there lifeless is extremely painful, but it helps your mind comprehend the fact that your loved one is no longer in that body. It helps you to let go.

Though we have different ways of coping with death, and spending some time alone to collect yourself after losing a loved one is natural, itís not good to isolate yourself indefinitely. Isolation tends to compound symptoms of depression, so donít allow yourself to pull away from family and friends for more than a week or so. Talking with others, whether itís about your loss or not, can be very helpful in recovering from your loss.

Sometimes writing about your feelings can help you to cope with them. Keeping a journal, and perhaps writing about special memories of the one over whom you are grieving, can be a cathartic way to handle your pain.

Maybe you could do something to honor your loved one, such as donating money to a charity in his or her name. Maybe you could commission a painting from one of your favorite pictures of this person, or maybe your could write a poem or a song about him or her.

After taking some time to accept the death and honor the memory of your loved one, you have to move on. You have to continue your life. Try to keep busy. Do things that you enjoy. Donít avoid doing things that remind you of the person you lost. Continue to do the things you love, creating new memories with others, or alone.

Many times, after the death of a loved one, we feel as if it isnít fair that we are still here, alive, and they are gone. Especially in the case of an accident, a homicide, or a natural disaster, we might feel survivorís remorse. It is understandable, but it is not rational. It is not fair that the person was lost, but you shouldnít feel guilty that you are alive. If you are suffering from survivorís remorse, find comfort in knowing that we are all assigned a day to die. If you survived, it is because your time hasnít come yet, and it isnít your fault that your loved one is gone.

We also sometimes feel guilty for experiencing joy or pleasure after the death of a loved one. We feel as though we should be in constant pain, experiencing overwhelming grief for much longer than is typical. In that case, you should remember that your loved one would not want you to be perpetually overwhelmed with sadness. Anyone who loves you would want you to be happy, and continue to live-ónot to be miserable and grief-stricken forever.

Everyone grieves and heals in his or her own time, but some of us need help in learning to cope with a loss. There is no shame in meeting with a licensed therapist to talk about your feelings regarding the loss, and/or any other issues which might be contributing to your depression. If your depression is still lingering after three months, Iíd suggest that you speak with your family doctor or a therapist.

As painful and depressing as death is, it is a part of life that we canít avoid. We all have to deal with it at some point. Try not to isolate, and avoid ďself medicatingĒ with alcohol or drugs. Do things that you enjoy, and don't feel guilty for being alive! It's okay to enjoy life and to continue to live even after losing someone you love. Live, laugh, love, and be thankful for every moment of life because nothing is guaranteed.

This site needs an editor - click to learn more!

Add Depression+and+the+Death+of+Loved+Ones to Twitter Add Depression+and+the+Death+of+Loved+Ones to Facebook Add Depression+and+the+Death+of+Loved+Ones to MySpace Add Depression+and+the+Death+of+Loved+Ones to Digg Depression+and+the+Death+of+Loved+Ones Add Depression+and+the+Death+of+Loved+Ones to Yahoo My Web Add Depression+and+the+Death+of+Loved+Ones to Google Bookmarks Add Depression+and+the+Death+of+Loved+Ones to Stumbleupon Add Depression+and+the+Death+of+Loved+Ones to Reddit

RSS | Related Articles | Editor's Picks Articles | Top Ten Articles | Previous Features | Site Map

For FREE email updates, subscribe to the Depression Newsletter

Past Issues

Printer Friendly
tell friend
Tell a Friend
Email Editor

Content copyright © 2018 by Kitten Kristine Jackson. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Kitten Kristine Jackson. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact BellaOnline Administration for details.


g features
Archives | Site Map


Past Issues

Note: BellaOnline uses cookies to help provide a consistent user experience. Our advertisers may use cookies to help customize ads. Please contact us with any question about our cookie use.

Summertime Foods
Corn on the Cob
Burgers on the Grill
Apple Pie


| About BellaOnline | Privacy Policy | Advertising | Become an Editor |
Website copyright © 2018 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.

BellaOnline Editor