Turning Hazards into Happiness

Turning Hazards into Happiness
The Etiquette Twist: Turning Hazards into Happiness

Don't measure up? Stop beating yourself up! It's not real anyway.

Etiquette and personal style don't strive for perfection. Perfection resembles exclusion and that's not in the etiquette handbook. Etiquette strives to be inclusive and accepting in all things.

Real life should be accepting as well. Often, however, we berate ourselves, thinking we don't measure up. We question if we can accomplish everything on our "to do" list. All the while, we forget that we need to first and foremost be real people with real challenges.

This is why YouTube is taking off - its real. Many channels don't have a set or a cute background. They have real people doing and discussing real things/ideas/etc. It's not a sterile Martha Stewart episode or article where all pictures are slick, clean and spotless. Rather than exclude with unachievable expectations, the real world is much like true etiquette and style. It reflects a happy and accepting outward appearance that isn't spotless and fake.

When Martha stymies you with her spotlessly clean set, instead of feeling weighted down, know that it's not how life is. She has assistants and producers who come up with ideas, write her scripts, arrange her schedules and manages her guests. Someone else wipes down the counters, scrubs the oven and maintains the chicken coupe. She just shows up. Wouldn't that be great ? To just show up?

Stay off social media and chose your reading material wisely. Live your own life instead of someone else's. Does reality TV irritate you? So should social media and for the same reasons....neither is real. When soap operas and sitcoms have you wondering where the fun is in your life, put it in perspective. What you are watching isn't real. Stuff doesn't get wrapped up in 30 minutes or an hour. So when you are feeling down, turn off the TV.

No one (other than my dog) wakes up happy. It's a rare person who is thrilled about getting too little sleep, having no clean clothes and needing to be to work in 45 minutes. Happiness (like anger or rudeness) is a choice. So decide you are going to be happy even when hazards happen and "The Jones'" have you believing that you can't keep up. Put on that smile and pretend that everything will be OK. You'll be surprised how a little perspective can dictate a positive outcome.

Don't compare (you/your kids/your relationships). Most of the time people only tell you the best parts. And that's OK. It's true no one likes a negative ninny. So when you read about all the happy stuff going on in people's lives, be happy for them. Rejoice in their happiness. Just don't cut yourself down because your life doesn't measure up to theirs.

The best twist you can put on proper etiquette is turning hazards into happiness. You have the ability to learn from mistakes and to surround yourself with the good stuff. Go forward and do just that. The sad, uncomfortable stuff will become small when you emphasize and focus on the happy in your life.

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