When our daughters reach puberty it is as difficult a time for us sometimes as it if for them. One minute we are pleading for them not to forget to wear their deodorant and trying to nonchalantly discuss incorporating new underwear, a training bra, into their wardrobe, and the next we are wondering who the guilty party is at school who pointed out the leg hair on our daughter’s legs. We know what is next but we just don’t want to think about it.

If your daughter is reaching puberty you want to make sure all of her questions are being answered. Although we may remember what the content was about when our mom had a talk with us about puberty or we remember some of what was taught us in school, we may have forgotten how awkward it was for us to listen.

You’ve probably seen the strange looks on her face when she sees an inappropriate commercial on TV or when you ask her a personal question. Many times it is just us doing the talking and our daughters are watching on wondering if they need to know this and why does my mom have to talk to me about this. Essentially, they may want to put off the talk as much as we do.

One way to solve the problem is to give her a reference guide. There are books available that weren’t around when we were growing up. If used as a point of reference for your daughter to start conversation it may not seem as weird to her.

Things to remember when either of you approach the other about the topic of puberty are:

- You are not alone; all your friends are going through the same thing.

- It is okay to feel confused or sad about the whole thing, and then refer to the first point again.

- It won’t last forever, we can’t tell her when it will end, but remind her it will pass soon.

There are many books on the market and you might want to shop with your daughter or let her pick one out on her own that may be to her liking. A few popular books available are The Care & Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls – American Girl Library, by Valorie Schaefer and Norm Bendell and The Truth: I’m a Girl, I’m Smart and I know Everything by Barbara Becker Holstein. The Truth may interest your daughter since it is spoken in the voice of a girl entering puberty. If you are looking for a faith based book, you’ll want The Body Book: It’s A God Thing! by Nancy N. Rue and Steven Mach from the Women of Faith Lily Series.

The best you can do is let her know that you know it is time. She will find the right time to appreciate that you noticed, it just might not be during puberty.