Guest Author - Paula Petrie

Experts claim that you can change old habits, and create a new lifestyle if you give some concentrated effort for thirty days. For example, the thirty day challenge or “detox” work on this principle. But, it usually takes me a bit longer than that for things to really become second nature.

In fact sometimes old habits die a hard slow death. It takes a strong desire and vigilant practice to change your "style." Without desire or passion in the mix, creating new habits can become a chore. A chore which can cause anguish and bring about retaliation. A big time battle between will and spirit!

However, if you believe you’re ready and willing to make a change, remember these tips from the experts:

- Give yourself sufficient time to change instead of pushing yourself too hard, or quickly, to be “finished.” Remember who you are and the path you need to follow. That is the most important thing.

- Help yourself stay motivated by eating well and getting lots of exercise and rest.

-Set realistic expectations and goals. Think in terms of small steps. Breaking a goal down into smaller achievable steps, is the way to accomplish most anything. Stay positive and take the time to congratulate each successful outcome.

- Focus on 1 or 2 habit changing strategies at a time. Stick to a plan long enough for it to begin to gel. Heading off in a whole series of directions is too hard for proper follow through. Try a new routine when ever you wish but only “work” on one desired outcome at a time. For example when you are starting a new exercise regimne, you should absolutely check-out new things like a pilaties DVD, but while getting your routine up and running don’t forgo the planned daily walk at 2pm break. Establish a habit.

- Review and reward your progress daily. Make sure your rewards are positively affirming, kind, and healthy. Like giving yourself a verbal pat on the back, or slipping away for a relaxing bubble bath or ice cream. Remember the subtler priorities that feel more like wishes and desires, will get you where you need to go.

- Seek help. Read up, prepare, and inform yourself. When all else fails, seek the guidance of friends or a professional.

A big stumbling block to change is an inability to stay focused. To have enough faith in yourself and in the dreams that you dream, to follow them until they form in reality. Go deeper, don’t drift from idea to idea. Put in the work required to become and learn. This makes you a more solid person.

Habits are often tied to emotion. For example, I habitually make my bed for the positive emotional reaction I get from a tidy room. But, I also have a habit of eating a pound of chocolate (or just about anything) when I'm overwrought or I feel confused. Emotions can make or break us.

This leads me, and others to believe that willpower is not the only ingredient in producing results. The key may be more apt to lie in connecting with the buried or unmet emotional need that has created or refused the habitual behavior in the first place.

For example, when I am tired or burdened, I have made a habit of becoming sulky and irritable. The trick here is to understand and direct my habits to "appreciating" these warning signs and find some relaxation or fun.

Or, understanding that when my underworked lungs and muscles signal me to curl up and read if I think of exercise; that this is the very reaction that should make me see I need to workout.

So, it appears a conscious decision must be made to follow the habit, or go with the instinct. Maybe this is where “30 days” comes in. We need that time to examine the “old habitual trench” and search for the keys to establish new ideas or ways of living. Examining, searching, and simply digging out time.