Guest Author - Rebecca Wilson

My oldest daughter was in the 2nd Grade last year and experience her first crush. It was a difficult year for her because she wasn't sure what to do with her feelings. Especially when she was told by her teacher and by her parents that there will be no dating in the 2nd Grade, including no holding of hands. "If dating is not allowed," she reasoned, "then why do I feel this way?" For months my daughter thought she was a bad person. Once I finally figured out why she was in an emotional tailspin, I explained to her that it is natural to feel affinity for particular people so she most certainly was not a bad person for her feelings.

My daughter is not alone in her experience. Seven or 8 years old is a common time for children to experience their first crush, which was evident when my two 2nd Grader sons came home this year telling me about all the crushes forming among their classmates. Though I'm calm about the information this year, last year it was a new experience for me, and I fretted and stressed about how to handle it. Especially when my daughter's teacher told us during parent-teacher conferences that our daughter was holding hands with the boy whom she adored.

So how should a parent handle a daughter's first crush? Whatever you do, do not tease or make fun of her in any way. The first crush can be a confusing time and leave her feeling exceptionally vulnerable and sensitive. If you want her to feel safe talking to you, be approachable and supportive. This will set the stage for how she will feel about talking to you when she is a teenager.

Talk to your daughter about the various types of friendships, from intimate to acquaintance. Explain that this time in her life is the time to learn about friendship and practice being friends with a variety of people. Talk about ways to develop friendships with her peers. Try role playing a variety of scenarios.

Explain that crushes eventually fade and new crushes will develop over the years. It is part of growing up and learning about relationships.

Reassure your daughter that her feelings are natural and that she has no cause to be ashamed though she may want to be judicious about sharing the information with her peers. We learned last year -- and is repeating itself this year -- is that children will tease each other about who they like. I remember singing my own share of "k-i-s-s-i-n-g!" to my peers who appeared to have crushes on each other.

My daughter's crush eventually faded, and she is still friends with the boy who captured her heart last year. Much to my relief, she has weathered this first crush quite well and we both learned a few things along the way about making and keeping friends.