It seems that more and more parents, teachers and counselors are spending large portions of their times focusing on the achievements of their students. How well did Jen do on her PSAT? Did Tom ace his Physics AP? Is Teresa's time on the 5 K good enough for a walk-on spot at UCLA? Did the recruiters see Miquel's last game? Is this over-focus on points, scores, times, goals, etc. really beneficial to the student or are we doing more harm than good?
As an Educational Consultant, I walk a very fine line with my students. I want them to want to do well on their AP exams, their SATs/ACTs, etc. But, not if doing well means they're trading in on their mental or physical well-being; or, if success means they no longer have the opportunity to experience life.
Alexandra Robbins, author of The Overachievers: The Secret Lives of Driven Kids provides us with a pretty good window through which we can view the impact society's push for success has on pre-college and college-going teens.
The teens in her book are pushed by parents, counselors, professional college advisors, recruiters and peers to: take intensive test preparation courses, cram for exams, take and test out of up to 17 AP courses, play high school sports with injuries, skip social events in order to prep for interviews, and cram for exams.
These teens experience intense sleep deprivation, hair loss, stress related illness, fatigue, injury, self-doubt, and anxiety. They are medicated, counseled, prepped and rehearsed. One teen is even "fired" by her professional advisor as the advisor doubts the teen will successfully compete for an ivy league placement. All of this because of an overwhelming push to succeed at all costs.
Its' time, I think, that we step back a moment and think about why we're pushing teens so hard. Are we pushing them for their benefit? Or for our own? It doesn't matter to me whether my students enter ivy-league schools or B schools, if they score a perfect number on an exam, or if they play a prominent sport on a major campus. What matters most to me is that Jen, Tom, Teresa and Migueal are healthy, happy and content with their lives and are looking forward to higher education and a bright future.
If you'd like to take a look at the Secret Lives of Driven Kids, pick up a copy of Alexandra Robbin's book at your local bookstore. You might really be surprised at what's going on behind the scenes for kids--maybe even your kids-- these days.
The Overachievers: The Secret Lives of Driven Kids (2006) by Alexandra Robbins. (Hyperion Books, $24.95 US)
Until next time!
Lynn Byrne
Preparing for college admissions? Trying to find direction? Need a little help with the planning? Check out my college planning series:
- College Planning Made Easy--the planning and preparation workbook for the take charge, college-bound student,
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- The Great Scholarship Search--my guide for students and parents researching and applying for scholarship funding.
