Guest Author - Melissa Weise

Every living thing has a relationship with food. Because we need it regularly to keep our bodies functioning, it is something that is an integral part of our lives. Food is so integral, that we human beings are hard-wired to think about it all the time. This trait was important for the survival of our early ancestors as they hunted and gathered and even grew small crops. Up until just recently, every human being had to work very hard for a meager meal. Now, in wealthy industrialized societies that have mass farming and food production such as many in North America, Europe and Asia, this isn’t something that we have to worry about.

But we are still driven to eat. Or think about eating. As infants, it was the only thing that comforted us: the warm bottle. As children, our parents and teachers may have used it as rewards: the class popcorn party or the team pizza party after a winning game. You may have gotten candy if you behaved in the store. Food represented fun: the birthday cake or the thanksgiving turkey. Food represents mom and dad and everyone who loves and feeds you.

As teens, our relationship with food changes again. Many of us grow ravenous as our bodies change rapidly into adults. We are eating all the time. And the choices we make about food aren’t always great. Pizza. Hamburgers. Chips. Shakes. Soda. They are so easy and cheap to buy and who wants to take the time away from friends to cook anyway.

Then, something else changes about our relationship with food. It may happen in a locker room after a hard work-out when the coach tells us to bulk up or on the dance stage when a fellow dancer comments that you aren’t as skinny as you should by, or even in the dressing room in the shopping mall when the juniors sizes don’t fit anymore and all your shopping friends know it. We are always self-conscious about our bodies and never more so when others comment or notice. One bad word about our bodies seems to counteract one hundred compliments that we have received throughout our lives.

Suddenly, food is seen as the enemy. Eat too much and get fat or eat too little and stay scrawny. This is when some people start an unhealthy lifetime of yo-yo dieting or binging or purging. Or everything all at once. Food is a enemy but it also our natural form of comfort. We love it and hate it at the same time.

So what to do about our relationships with food? First, realize everything that it means to you. And that is different for different people. Does it comfort you when you are sad? Make you feel better when you are nervous? Make you angry when you eat too much? Give you energy? Provide you with important nutrients? Give you something to do when you are bored? Give you and your friends something to do when you are hanging out? Make a list. You may notice more as time goes on and you are aware of all the meanings of food.

Now, decided what you want it to mean. What does a healthy relationship with food look like to you? Not everything mentioned above is bad. Write this list down.

Finally, realize that no one is perfect all the time and your relationship with food will probably be a lot like a relationship with a friend. Sometimes you fight. Sometimes you disagree. Sometimes you make each other feel bad. But if things go well more often than not, it is a good relationship. It’s the same with food.