Guest Author - Melissa D, Weise

According to Webster’s dictionary, to flirt means: to make playfully romantic overtures. Sounds so simple when you put it that way, huh? But in reality, flirting can seem really complicated. How do you do it? How do you know when someone else is flirting with you? And what do you do about it if they are?

Human beings naturally flirt with each other. Despite all the books and articles out there saying they will teach you how to flirt, you don’t really need to learn anything. You most likely already know everything you need to know. When you don’t quite know someone but are attracted to them and would like to know them better but don’t know how to introduce yourself, you will flirt. When you flirt, you do just enough to catch the other person’s attention without doing too much. You want them to look at your, notice you, and perhaps even come over and talk to you. You want them to like you and become attracted to you as well but don’t want to be too obvious about it.

Girls and guys flirt differently. Girls might look at the other person, look away, bat their eyelashes, blush, swish their hair, touch their face, giggle, become very interested in a friend’ conversation and answer loudly, swish their hips, or put their hands on their hips. If girls know the other person a little bit or are physically near them, they may touch the other person’s hand or shoulder, try to hug them, touch the other person’s hair, or gaze into their eyes. Guys might also look at the other person and then look away, touch their hair, and start talking loudly with friends but guys also flex their muscles, rub their faces or chest, make jokes, become louder in general, or do something slightly outrageous or funny.

Putting on revealing clothing, overdoing make-up, being too touchy or clingy, walking or moving unnaturally, or being too loud or pushy isn’t really a good way to flirt. The best type of flirting is the type that comes when you aren’t really thinking about flirting. It is honest and natural. When you try too hard, you can fail at the most basic purpose of flirting – not being too obvious.

And so what do you do when you notice someone else flirting with you? First, pay attention. If they are flirting, that is what they want you to do. Then figure out if you are attracted to them. If you are, try flirting back or going over to talk to them. If you aren’t, the beauty of flirting well is that you don’t really have to answer. If someone is flirting with you and you aren’t interested, just ignore them. Their feelings won’t be too hurt and you can each go on your way.