Guest Author - Kirsten Olsen-Keyser

Definition:
Holly – would – a place in California where media juggernauts make mediocre products for consumer consumption.

I began using the term Holly-would in my movie reviews in about 2001. It was a term I developed to describe the place where most American movies are produced and where unfortunately money talks and creativity walks out stage left. The “would” has been a source of pain and anguish for me ever since the Batman franchise took a nose dive. It’s the “woulda, shoulda, coulda” debate that rises from the smoldering wreckage of poorly directed and written films that might have had a shot at greatness if it were not for the unfortunate decisions made by the cogs within the movie producing machine.

So who runs Holly-would? Some may say it is a sinister group such as The Illuminati, others say it is the moguls such as Spielberg, Lucas and that kid who used to play Opie. It should be the consumers running the place but here in lies the quandary – in a way, Holly-would IS run by the consumer. Every time we buy a ticket to a movie that we are just dying to see and that marketing hype tells us we SHOULD see i.e., Spiderman 3, Matrix Revolutions, etc., we are sending a message to the machine that we actually enjoyed the movie we just paid for even if it was a huge letdown. If we boycotted blockbuster movies such as Transformers (2007) or Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, maybe directors, writers and producers would get the message : stop messing up our beloved cultural material! But if we boycott, then we don’t get to see a film that could possibly be fantastic. The proverbial Catch 22.

So what do we do as consumers? Perhaps wait for the movie reviews to come out before spending our hard earned cash at the box office? But even critics can not be trusted as most do not have their finger on the pulse of our ever changing cultural dynamic. Many critics I have met (who's names I will keep in my secret book of shadowy conspiracy figures) consider only the classics worthy of the word “film” while all else is a mere “movie”. They absolutely hate sitting in a theater to watch action, adventure or sci-fi but they will for the sake of a pay check. This conceivably explains the reason for the dreadful reviews given to flicks that don't fit into that elite category of film and why some horrible movies are given decent reviews - because the critics just don't understand the material. Once again, the consumer is left with no other decision but to stand in line, ticket in hand, hopes high that this time; this movie won’t be like all the rest…a huge letdown.

Where do I stand? I can say to all my readers frankly that I enjoy all genres of film from classic musicals like West Side Story and White Christmas, to black and white masterpieces such as Citizen Kane and Casablanca, to independents such as Amadeus and The Usual Suspects, to the hard pounding action of Die Hard and Rambo, around to the drama of 12 Angry Men and The Godfather, over to golden age immortals like Cleopatra and The 12 Commandments, to the heart racing horror of Ringu and The Shining and finally stopping at comedies like Clerks and Hot Fuzz. I use my knowledge of what great film is to bring you open and honest critique of the genre I enjoy the most, science fiction, comic book adaptations and fantasy and hopefully in doing so, help you choose to spend your cash at the theater or wait for the DVD. If you’re anything like me however, regardless of what you read here, you’ll be standing in line with me, ticket in hand, hopes high that this time Holly-would won’t let us down!