A common concern of new nursing moms is whether their babies are nursing because they are hungry or "just comfort nursing." Formula-feeding moms and those who are not familiar with breastfeeding will cluck at a nursing mom and shake their heads if a nursing mother rushes their crying baby to the breast. Nursing moms are hit with such comments as, "You know that baby isn't hungry yet…she just nursed an hour ago."

But this is one more way that nursing is so very different than formula. Nursing, by its very nature, is comforting. All nursing is comfort nursing. Whether nursing is needed nutritionally is not, in my opinion, something that a new mom should worry about. If a successfully nursing baby really, really doesn't want or need to nurse, they will turn away from the breast or decline to latch on (please differentiate this from babies and mothers who are having nursing challenges and still need assistance or time to nurse easily or successfully). If the baby nurses…they "need to nurse."

Breastmilk, a perfect food for babies, digests more completely, easily and therefore quickly than formula, so it is not at all strange that breastfeeding babies nurse more often than their formula-fed counterparts. Plus, let's face it, from a baby's perspective, breastfeeding rocks! Guaranteed time with mommy, warmth, skin-to-skin contact, suckling satisfaction, full tummy, cuddled and tucked away in mommy's arms…what's not to love about that sort of comfort? So while a baby may not cry out wistfully for a cold bottle nipple full of reconstituted powdered nutrition given by any old person with a free hand unless their tummy truly is empty, a baby suddenly out in the world will call for nursing both for nutrition and that wonderful comfort.

There is absolutely no reason not to nurse a small infant whenever they seem to want it or need it, within the limits of your own sanity. That's not to say that you are damaging your child if you finish your shower and actually dry off and get dressed while they wait (impatiently) with another loving adult, or if need be, in a safe spot. That's not to say that you have to hop to and pull out a breast every time they whimper. You find a balance for these things. But you are *not* spoiling your baby by comfort nursing. You are *not* irreparably yoking yourself to this baby at his every whim. But by nursing on cue, you are doing all the right things for your milk supply and your baby's development, confidence and attachment.

With older babies, after about 8 months or so according to many child development experts, wants and needs can begin to diverge (up until about that point, babies don't "manipulate" for wants, they simply communicate needs, which are indistinguishable). So the concept of nursing for comfort can begin to diverge a bit more from nutritional needs. That's not to say you should all of a sudden put them on a schedule and deny them all but rudimentary nutrition. For the most part, nursing on cue will still serve you well when it is possible.

After about 18 months or so, in my experience, babies can start to get a bit bossy and possessive about who decides where and when nursing should happen. This is the time to really start to think about breast manners (see my article on this in related links below), and how *you* are feeling about the nursing experience (see my articles on Conflicting Feelings About Extended Breastfeeding and Nursing a Two-Year Old in related links below). Again, that doesn't mean you cut out comfort nursing, but in my opinion, it is ok to ask them to wait, or explain that they just nursed recently and milk is not ready yet, but you are making more for later. At these times, I offer a drink of water as an alternative, or redirect attention to another activity. But I don't know what I'd do without nursing when my daughter conks her head on the table, or gets mistreated by big sister or has a fever. This is true comfort nursing, and nothing works better. She gets not only that reminiscent warm full tummy, but focused attention from mommy, which is just what she needs.

Comfort nursing is a great benefit of breastfeeding, and is always appropriate at younger ages. At older ages, non-nutritional comfort nursing is a negotiation between mother and child, and is certainly wonderful to the extent that is mutually enjoyed by mother and baby.


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