Many restaurants have developed rules that create an unequal relationship between the customer and the eating establishment.

There is a delicate balance between restaurant and diner. Business owners need to ensure that they have full tables and a steady clientèle. Customers often feel as if they are not valued and are only fitted into a restaurant at the whim of the wait staff. There are rules that have been established that make customers as if they are incidental to dining establishments.

A common "rule" is to wait until all members of a party are present before anyone is seated. Recently I went out to dinner with a group of teachers to a local restaurant. The place was half empty, with a tables lined up for our group. Yet, we were not allowed to sit at our tables until the last few members of our party were present.

At first glance this may seem like a good business principle. A restaurant would not want to have tables in limbo with no food being served. A reasonable idea if in fact the tables are producing revenue. In the scenario above the restaurant actually lost money. Instead of a group of people sitting at tables, ordering drinks and appetizers we waited outside for three people.

By the time we were seated the group was grumpy and not inclined to stay longer than necessary. Instead of tipping 20% we only tipped 15%. We did not order dessert there and instead went to a local ice cream establishment. Add up the cost of drinks, appetizers, and desserts not sold to 20 people and the restaurant lost a great deal of revenue. The server lost the tip from the food not sold and the lower tip given.

This is not an isolated incident. Restaurants across the country engage in this practice. Recently, in Pompano Beach, Florida I experienced the same rule being applied to a smaller group. We were not allowed to put our group name on the waiting list until everyone arrived. Again, the restaurant lost the revenue from the round of drinks that we would have ordered. Instead of beginning with a happy group of customers the waiter had to deal with people who were forced to wait for their table. This was exacerbated by the fact that we had a disabled family member for whom it was difficult to stand.

Another persistent problem is the small table for two. A friend recently made reservations at an "upscale" Italian restaurant as a treat for her gentleman friend. They are a tall couple. My friend is 5'11" and her friend is 6'5". They arrived early and were told that the restaurant did not have their reservation. She pulled out the email confirmation. The host responded, "Sorry, we don't have you down." Finally they were led to a tiny banquette table in the corner. My friend asked to have a table for four and assured the host that they would be ordering a complete dinner and probably two bottles of wine. The would not loose any revenue by giving them the larger table. The response? "No, our policy is that parties of two sit here." At that point my friend and her date left. The restaurant lost all revenue from the dinners and has gained a bad reputation.

To reconnect the dining experience between restaurant and diner there needs to be a rethinking of attitudes and rules. Policies have begun to alienate customers and interfere with profit.

What restaurant rule bothers you? Share it at the Italian Food Forum.