“Gratefulness is the key to a happy life that we hold in our hands, because if we are not grateful, then no matter how much we have we will not be happy -- because we will always want to have something else or something more.” ~ Brother David Steindl-Rast


Perhaps it was due to the difficulties and much unhappiness in my childhood and early adulthood; for as long as I remember, searching for the “secret formula” for happiness has always been the mission of my life. I studied and read as much as I could. And when I met people who were truly happy, I asked for their “secrets” to life. Driven by my internal pain, I was determined to find happiness… true and continual happiness that didn’t go away simply when my day didn’t go as well as it could or when a loved one left me aching in grief.

In those days, gratitude was just a fancy word that I practiced once in a while when I remembered. Even though I knew the practice of gratitude is a good virtue, never did I link gratitude as the key to a happy and fulfilling life. With much innocence and stubbornness, and perhaps a bit of self-serving determination, I set out looking for ways that can “for sure” take away my pain and keep me happy for as long as possible. This was certainly a big goal for a young lady.

In all those years of searching, I often ignored the importance of “living in the present”. Being grateful for where my life was at the time and accepting all life’s goodness along with the challenges did not come easily to me. Overlooking much of life’s delights, I was searching for ways to ensure my “future” happiness. And at the same time, I was also looking for ways to remove the pain from my “past”. Like a distracted hiker, desperately trying to conquer the peak of the mountain while focusing on how to get rid of the weeds tangled at foot so I could hike faster; I often lost sight of the beauty and the majesty of the nature surrounding me all along my path.

Now looking back a couple of decades later, with much more gratitude at heart, I now stop searching and start “living”. Our ability to truly appreciate life for what it is and where it is now is our secret ingredient to long lasting happiness. Gratitude is an internal state. When we feel thankful and perhaps even feel lucky deeply inside, we cannot help but feel happy. Gratitude makes room for our heart to rejoice, and gratitude also allows our spirit to grow and accept new possibilities of a good life. Instead of focusing on life’s challenges, we now see our lives full of gifts and blessings. We do not need an external factor such as another person or material good to make us happy. The happiness obtained through gratitude is profound and continuing as this happiness comes from our true internal acceptance of our own blessings.