Today I would like to share with you a piece of advice that has been handed down from mother to daughter for generations on the eve of her Nikaah (wedding)

The First Advice

My Beloved Daughter! Lead a life of contentment. Be content even with simple food. The dry bread and water that have been eaten with contentment is better than a sumptuous meal that have been eaten after your persistent complaints forced him grudgingly provide it for you.


The Second Advice

My Beloved Daughter! Always listen attentively to what your husband says. Give importance to what he says and do as he says. In this manner, you will soon win a place in his heart because it is not really a person who is beloved, but what the person does that is most loved.


The Third Advice

Tend your beauty carefully so that whenever he will look at you he will be pleased with his choice. Within limits of decency, use as much fragrance as possible, and remember that no part of your body or dress should repulse him.

The Fourth Advice

Beloved Daughter! To be always attractive to him, put surma or kajal (kohl) in your eyes, for beautiful eyes make a person's whole being beautiful in the eyes of the beholder. Bath and do ablution regularly, as this is the best perfume and the best way to cleanliness.

The Fifth Advice

Beloved Daughter! Prepare his meals before it is time as hunger becomes a flame if not satisfied. During the hours of rest, keep it quiet and peaceful as disturbed sleep makes a man morose and angry.

The Sixth Advice

Beloved Daughter! Protect his home and his treasure: let mo one enter the house without his permission and do not waste his money by indulging in exhibition, for treasure can only be tended through good management, and the family well cared for through good sense.

The Seventh Advice

Beloved Daughter! Never disobey him and always keep his secrets, for disobeying him will add fuel to the fire and revealing his secrets will destroy his trust in you. And you yourself will not be safe from his retaliation. Someone has rightly said "To be trusted is better than to be loved."

The Eighth Advice

My Beloved Daughter! If he is grieved over something then do not mention to him anything that has pleased you. Share his grief. When he is happy, do not disclose your hidden grief and do not complain to your husband for any of his behavior. Be happy with him. Otherwise you will be regarded as one who confuses him. (Of course, this does not apply to abusive situations)

The Ninth Advice

My Beloved Daughter! If you wish to be respectable in his eyes then honor and respect him and act according to his wishes. Then at every stage of life you will find him to be your best companion.

The Tenth Advice

My Beloved Daughter! Hold fast to this advice from me. Sweet smelling flowers will not blossom in your life as long as you do not suppress your wish for his pleasure. Many times and the longings that arise in your heart to let his word reign supreme. My dear daughter, my darling! I bid you farewell with these words and give you in Allah's care. May He always keep you in his watchful care.

A few points to keep in mind: Just like the Bible, Islam emphasizes obedience to the husband. "Obedience" is a much maligned and misunderstood word. Obedience leads to the husband leads to marital harmony and the absence of power struggles. Islam has given the husband many responsibilities and duties as well, so this isn't a one sided arrangement, where the wife gives and the husband takes.