How to Incorporate your Family and Friends on Your Wedding Day
If you are like most couples, you have a handful of family members or friends that are feeling a bit left out during the wedding planning process. Everyone wants to be a part of your special day, but you are probably struggling with how to incorporate each person. Instead of assigning them to attend the gift table or guestbook, check out these meaningful tasks that your family and friends will be honored to assist with.
CHARGE TO THE COUPLE
What It Is: A charge usually takes place close to the beginning of the ceremony and typically includes a brief story about the couple and his or her wishes for the marriage. If you are a bride that does not want any surprises, this duty could be substituted with an appropriate reading.
Time Commitment: 3 to 5 minutes.
Who To Ask: A very close family member such as a grandparent or aunt and uncle would be the perfect person to perform a charge. A reading is great for a close friend or younger family member. If you have multiple people you want to include consider including multiple charges or readings into the ceremony.
PHOTOGRAPHER’S ASSISTANT
What It Is: Since your photographer will not know all of the significant people in your wedding party, it is a good idea to assign a close friend or family member to help him make sure the important pictures take place. Create a list outlining the composition of each of your guests you want pictures of. For instance if you want a picture of you and all of your college girlfriends or a picture of your fiancée and his favorite cousin you will need to let your photographer know. Since you do not want to be in charge of finding everyone and keeping them in line, assigning a friend to do so will definitely make the process go a little smoother.
Time Commitment: 30 to 45 minutes.
Who To Ask: An assertive friend or relative that NEEDS to be in charge of something. They will love to coordinate this detail for you.
DRESS BUSTLING
What It Is: Bustling your dress is when your train is secured off of the ground by buttons, clasps, bows, etc. Bustling usually happens after pictures have been taken and before you enter the reception. It can be a little complex, so it is important that the person assigned to this task attend your final fitting to learn how the dress is bustled.
Time Commitment: 7 to 10 minutes on the wedding day and attendance to your final dress fitting.
Who To Ask: Bustling your wedding gown is a great duty for a cousin, niece or close friend who is not part of the bridal party.
GRACE
What It Is: A blessing on your food is a very common practice on the wedding day if you are a religious couple. It not only involves thanking God for the meal, but also praying for the new couple’s happiness and marriage.
Time Commitment: 2 to 3 minutes.
Who To Ask: Perfect for any friend or family member who is religious and comfortable speaking in front of a group. Any person who has a strong faith in God will be honored to take part in this traditions.
ANNIVERSARY DANCE
What It Is: This popular dance at weddings is a great way to incorporate many of your guests and honor your grandparents or other older couple. Have your DJ invite all couples to the dance floor. From there he will ask each couple to sit down who has been married 1 year, 2 years, 5 years, 10 years, etc. In the end, the couple who has been married the longest will be standing on the dance floor. In recognition of their great achievement, have your photographer get a picture of them after the dance. Frame a copy and send it to them after the wedding.
Time Commitment: 2 to 5 minutes.
Who To Ask: All Couples!
LADY IN WAITING
***NOTE: This is not a task for someone who you want to enjoy the wedding day. This person will be busy most of the day taking care of small odds and ends rather than celebrating. Make sure to assign this duty to someone who understands the responsibility she is taking on.
What It Is: If you do not have a wedding coordinator, it is a good idea to have someone be your eyes and ears for the wedding day. Have them be the contact for the caterer, florist, baker, etc. should there be any issues that pop up throughout the day. Duties may include things such as placing favors on the tables, organizing place cards and picking up personal items at the end of the wedding.
Time Commitment: 6 to 8 hours and possibly attendance at all final vendor meetings.
Who To Ask: A friend who is trying to get their feet wet in event or wedding planning.
CHARGE TO THE COUPLE
What It Is: A charge usually takes place close to the beginning of the ceremony and typically includes a brief story about the couple and his or her wishes for the marriage. If you are a bride that does not want any surprises, this duty could be substituted with an appropriate reading.
Time Commitment: 3 to 5 minutes.
Who To Ask: A very close family member such as a grandparent or aunt and uncle would be the perfect person to perform a charge. A reading is great for a close friend or younger family member. If you have multiple people you want to include consider including multiple charges or readings into the ceremony.
PHOTOGRAPHER’S ASSISTANT
What It Is: Since your photographer will not know all of the significant people in your wedding party, it is a good idea to assign a close friend or family member to help him make sure the important pictures take place. Create a list outlining the composition of each of your guests you want pictures of. For instance if you want a picture of you and all of your college girlfriends or a picture of your fiancée and his favorite cousin you will need to let your photographer know. Since you do not want to be in charge of finding everyone and keeping them in line, assigning a friend to do so will definitely make the process go a little smoother.
Time Commitment: 30 to 45 minutes.
Who To Ask: An assertive friend or relative that NEEDS to be in charge of something. They will love to coordinate this detail for you.
DRESS BUSTLING
What It Is: Bustling your dress is when your train is secured off of the ground by buttons, clasps, bows, etc. Bustling usually happens after pictures have been taken and before you enter the reception. It can be a little complex, so it is important that the person assigned to this task attend your final fitting to learn how the dress is bustled.
Time Commitment: 7 to 10 minutes on the wedding day and attendance to your final dress fitting.
Who To Ask: Bustling your wedding gown is a great duty for a cousin, niece or close friend who is not part of the bridal party.
GRACE
What It Is: A blessing on your food is a very common practice on the wedding day if you are a religious couple. It not only involves thanking God for the meal, but also praying for the new couple’s happiness and marriage.
Time Commitment: 2 to 3 minutes.
Who To Ask: Perfect for any friend or family member who is religious and comfortable speaking in front of a group. Any person who has a strong faith in God will be honored to take part in this traditions.
ANNIVERSARY DANCE
What It Is: This popular dance at weddings is a great way to incorporate many of your guests and honor your grandparents or other older couple. Have your DJ invite all couples to the dance floor. From there he will ask each couple to sit down who has been married 1 year, 2 years, 5 years, 10 years, etc. In the end, the couple who has been married the longest will be standing on the dance floor. In recognition of their great achievement, have your photographer get a picture of them after the dance. Frame a copy and send it to them after the wedding.
Time Commitment: 2 to 5 minutes.
Who To Ask: All Couples!
LADY IN WAITING
***NOTE: This is not a task for someone who you want to enjoy the wedding day. This person will be busy most of the day taking care of small odds and ends rather than celebrating. Make sure to assign this duty to someone who understands the responsibility she is taking on.
What It Is: If you do not have a wedding coordinator, it is a good idea to have someone be your eyes and ears for the wedding day. Have them be the contact for the caterer, florist, baker, etc. should there be any issues that pop up throughout the day. Duties may include things such as placing favors on the tables, organizing place cards and picking up personal items at the end of the wedding.
Time Commitment: 6 to 8 hours and possibly attendance at all final vendor meetings.
Who To Ask: A friend who is trying to get their feet wet in event or wedding planning.
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This content was written by Beth Helmstetter. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact Christina Marie McBride for details.
