Guest Author - Melissa Weise
Friendships end in a variety of ways. Sometimes they end in a fight. Sometimes they end unexpectedly while other times it is after a long period of difficulty. Sometimes both people just agree that it is no longer working or sometimes one person tells another person they no longer have anything in common. Other times, they just fizzle out because one person moves away either physically or emotionally and just stops talking to the other person. This is the most common way for a friendship to end and it usually isnt until some time afterward that the friends even realize they have lost each other.
Friendships that end badly are the hardest initially. People typically dont want to fight with each other, especially their friends. Because of this, many friends compromise over and over, sometimes when it makes no sense just to try and get along and keep the friendship. This is often because of the idea that losing a friend makes people somehow bad or unlikable. We are taught that friends are very important Eand they are Ebut not if they stress you out or you are not compatible.
So, if you have a friendship that has ended badly, first take time to think over how the relationship has been going for a while. Did the two of you lose common interests? Did you disagree often? Did you find yourself giving in when even you didnt know why? This probably means you both have just grown apart which is totally normal. Or perhaps the other person did something hurtful to you or you did something hurtful to them. If this is the case, perhaps you and the other person can make up. Sometimes this isnt possible either but usually it is because you both have grown apart as well.
Perhaps you have a friend (or a few) that you know you have grown apart from. This can be tricky because you dont want to hurt the other persons feelings, but you dont want to end up fighting either. Usually, the best thing to do is just let the relationship slowly fade out. This will happen naturally as you both move on to different things.
On the other hand, if you have friends that you have drifted away from without realizing it, think about how the relationship was going first before trying to re-initiate it. More often than not, it will be because you both grew apart and into different things. This is quite all right. In fact, if you both grew that far apart, it would probably be difficult to maintain a friendship if you tried to re-initiate it anyway. Usually relationships like this are fine at the beginning after one of you has contacted the other, but eventually you will drift apart again or, worse, end up fighting.
But, if you have friends that you lost contact with and did not grow apart from, perhaps your friendship can be rekindled. In that, case, re-initiating contact makes sense. But whatever the case, remember that friendships end usually because people have grown apart and there is nothing wrong with that.
