As exciting as going back to school is, it also comes with a certain level of anxiety. Your daughter is contemplating how many friends she’ll be reacquainted with and how many new friends she’ll meet. One misconception that parents have is that going back to school is the same as when we advanced a grade. Nothing could be further from the truth.

While many of us may have advanced from grade to grade with our peers, only having the occasional reorganization of the students from perhaps elementary to middle school or from middle school to high school, kids today at many schools are actually shuffled around from year to year without continued contact with some of their friends.

In some locations it is not uncommon for a child to move from grade to grade and not have a friend following along the same path. A friend shared her concerns about her grandson going up a grade in elementary school and none of his friends would be in his class. The school had approximately four classes per grade at the elementary level which, mathematically speaking, could rotate many children around without bumping into each other perhaps once or twice in the elementary school years. This format easily adds stress to elementary school children, a stress usually not felt until the transition to middle school.

The past few weeks have turned out stressful for my daughter who is actually anticipating her move into middle school. She has searched for any of her close friends who might be on the same “team” as her and has found none. She is holding out hope that one of her friends who she hasn’t shared a class with since first and second grade would be on her team in sixth grade. To further stress her out, sixth grade orientation divulged that each six grade team eats together for at least a month or two so they adjust to being on time for classes.

I know as parents we may think that school is for academics but socialization is an important part of school. Students are already faced with self-esteem issues at the middle-grade level. These stressors contribute to how well they will do in the school year. They will spend more time worrying about making friends and getting organized and adjusted to a new way of going to school and are in danger of not reaching their potential.

The National Middle School Association has a website with professional resources that address these concerns. Check out The Elementary to Middle School Transition: Five Helpful Hints for Parents for some great ideas to help your child transition before school starts. Most schools have an orientation but if your school district didn’t these tips might relieve some stress on the first day of middle school.

Also look at The National Middle School Association’s Tips For Parents for ways you can help your child with some of the issues she may face in the coming year.

During this time it is crucial that parents make a concerted effort to be as involved as possible. Ensure your daughter is getting enough rest and is eating well. After school starts assist her with homework and encourage homework breaks depending on her new work load. Support her in joining extracurricular activities that will release some of the stress. Perhaps she can find an activity that one of her friends from last year will be participating in.

In a few weeks time she should be striking a relatively balanced scheduled and the anxiety of moving to the middle school should have lifted. If your daughter’s anxiety is still there or she is having problems or is depressed, speak to a school counselor and her pediatrician for advice.