For everything there is a season and a purpose under heaven.

Sound like a song lyric? Well, it is. It's also part of my favorite Psalm, albeit a little out of context. But there's a reason I put this particular phrase at the very top of my article this week. Really? Yes! This week's article is about evaluating all of the pieces in your life and finding out how and where they all fit in your personal puzzle.

Take a look at all of the pieces of your personal puzzle: you, family, friends, acquaintances, school, professors, work, etc., etc., etc. If your life was a pie, it would be cut into dozens and dozens of pieces. But, the funny thing about pies (and puzzles) is that all of those little pieces have a purpose and a place; and once you've discovered what these things are, you can put all of the pieces back together again in a coherent manner and come out with something wonderful. That's what you want to do with your life. Take all of the bits that mean something to you and bring them together in a cohesive and strong manner.

Sometimes, there will be a piece that doesn't fit as nicely as the others. We all have that one familiy member or friend or co-worker or professor or whomever/whatever that just doesn't quite have edges smooth enough to allow for a perfect fit in our lives. If that happens, and if that particular piece of the puzzle is important to you, you have to find a way to shape your relationship with that piece so that the fit is better--even if its never quite perfect.

Here's an example. I have this friend (wink-wink) with a very demanding mother-in-law. This person has an important place in her husband's and children's lives. Now, the mother-in-law is not a particularly supportive person--especially when it comes to women striving for higher education, working or doing anything outside the home. She's of a different era and has a comlpletely different mindset about household and family dynamics. I, er, my friend accepts that.

The mother-in-law fits in my friend's life puzzle, that is to say she has an important place because of her tangential relationships with other family members. But the fit isn't a smooth one. So, in order to make the fit a bit better, my friend has set some rules and parameters establishing boundaries for interaction with this particular person. The relationship exists, the smoothed puzzle piece fits now, and life goes on. As the seasons change, the purpose of this particular piece may take on new meaning; but, careful evaluation and placement has made the present relationship workable.

How can this work for you? Truly, that's something you're going to have to explore on your own. Need a guide? Check out Rhonda Jones' book, Teaching Common Sense.

Until next time!

Lynn Byrne

Preparing for college admissions? Trying to find direction? Need a little help with the planning? Check out my college planning series:

• College Planning Made Easy--the planning and preparation workbook for the take charge, college-bound student,
  
• Paying for College Made Easy--a college financing guide designed to assist students and families in preparing and planning for higher education expenses; and
  
• The Great Scholarship Search--my guide for students and parents researching and applying for scholarship funding.