Many “expats” live in Mexico but all are not alike. Some have planned their move with care over the years, others have gotten in a car and headed south of the border the day after their official retirement. Others came down for one reason and ended up staying for another. Some are financially secure and others have limited financial means. Many are fluent in speaking Spanish while others struggle, piecing words together thinking that if an “o” is added to an English word it transforms itself into Spanish. The reasons for moving to Mexico may vary but the stages of adaptation that each goes through remain fairly constant.

This article presents these stages to assist those in making a successful transition. The stages of adapting to a new country resemble those of a marriage: emotions pass from the euphoria of the “new love”, to the courtship and commitment, to the honeymoon and finally into the reality.

Mexico is a seductive country. It offers sunny beaches, colonial cities, friendly people, reasonable cost of living and great food. Many folks make a quick decision to move here based on a “summer romance”. They are carried away by the experience and want to make it theirs forever. If you have fallen into this category the advice is the same as for anyone who falls head over heals in love. Take time to stand back, review the situation and decide with a cool head if this is the right move for you!

Once you have decided that this is really a “true love” experience then start to move ahead into the courtship and commitment phase. This may take the form of learning the language, traveling or even living for extended periods in the country, reading about the region, talking with others who live there, doing internet research. This is the phase when you will be building your foundation and preparing for the time when you will leave home.

Next, make the move and enjoy the honeymoon stage! Once you have found yourself actually living on a day to day basis in Mexico you will begin to have experiences that are different from those when you were just visiting as a tourist and the hotel took care of everything. At first most people find the day to day activities “charming”, “different”, “fun” and “all consuming”. There is a sense of real achievement when one has actually maneuvered the maze of signing a rental agreement, making a deposit, getting gas and electricity to the house, a phone line installed and a maid to clean. These are no minor accomplishments. And, depending on where you live, may end up being impossible! It is not uncommon, for example, to have to wait up to a year for a phone line. Most people rather enjoy this phase since it is an all new experience and if successfully done leads to a real sense of satisfaction.

Then comes reality. We all know what it is like once the newness wears off of a relationship. The activities that were charming at first begin to be wearing. We learn by experience that if the electricity is not paid by the due date, it is cut off the very next day. That entails an extra trip to the Electricity Commission, a long wait in line, the payment of a fine and then the restoration of lights. The same is true with the telephone, although in the case of the phone, you will still be able to receive incoming calls. It is also a given that you will run out of gas at precisely the moment that the soufflé is rising in the oven. And the truck will not come by until the following day. Or it may be that you had not noticed the dogs next door since during the day they are let out to roam the streets but their presence will now be heralded as they bark all night long. The noise of Mexico is an aspect that is often very difficult for expats to accept and/or get used to. It permeates everything! People live with it. And you will have to also.

The following characteristics are essential for achieving passage through the final stage of adaptation to the reality of life in Mexico: the ability to understand subtleties and sub-texts, oodles of patience, the ability to perform daily tasks and to talk with neighbors in Spanish, knowledge of the courteous manner in which Mexicans treat you and each other and a respect toward the difference in cultural patterns.
Those expats who achieve these (and other) cultural patterns find that the reality of Mexico is very livable and often experience a renewed euphoria with life south of the border!