Let's get this out of the way right from the start: if you work for someone else, refusing to do your job is not cool -- if you want to keep it. Unless you are being asked to break the law, you will need a very good reason. Something like your arm fell off making coffee and you only stopped by the office on your way to the hospital so that they would know why you wouldn't be able to do any work,today. Yeah, that's a good one. (Using the well-wrapped arm for point-making thrusts is a nice touch.)
For the freelancer, however, refusing work requires a different approach. Forever dependent upon the goodwill of clients and a network of business associates to put food on the table, working out a refusal strategy before dealing with the reality is not a bad plan.
Most businesses survive on repeat customers -- correction, on the business from satisfied, repeat, customers. And, it only makes sense that you would want to keep all of yours. We all like to work with people we feel we know and can trust. While familiarity may breed contempt under other circumstances, it is most welcome in business. Not having to worry about new people lets everyone focus on the task at hand. Turning away work should always be done with an eye toward the next contract.
Tears, Temper Tantrums, and Testosterone
Regardless of your reasons for not accepting a new project, there is no excuse for allowing emotions to get the upper hand. While a woman's tears are constantly held up as a lack of professionalism, I, personally, have never been impressed by the bellicose man, compelled to ripping phones from the wall or throwing books around the room, to make his point.
In fact, the more he rages, the less I take him seriously. It has been my experience that the more secure the man, the less posturing is required. A man with real power doesn't have to throw his weight around.
But, both tears and temper tantrums are signs of frustration and impotence, letting others know that you no longer feel you are control of the situation. Memories are sharp in the business world and, even after you've mellowed, you will be thought of as unprofessional.
If you must give in to your emotions, do not vent to co-workers! Get yourself a crying towel, find a private place and stuff it in your mouth. You can then scream, cry or chew (don't swallow) it -- or use it to beat up a defenseless post. Once you're back to your old self, you can look at things a little more objectively.
Different Scenarios to Consider for Refusing Work
Regardless of why you are refusing a project, don't take the welcome mat with you. It may appear to be different in today's world, with the Internet allowing people to work for others so far removed from their home ground, but you are always building a network of people who will continue to weave in and out of your life at the most unexpected moments.
That's why I'm such a strong advocate of contracts that spell out exactly what is expected from both sides. Although I have never seen a contract for refusing work, I won't go so far as to say one doesn't exist.
But, using a contract as a guideline, it doesn't hurt to draw up your own list of specific reasons why you would choose to not accept work from a client. This is yet another way to define what services you are willing to offer and reveal your current limitations. With that list at hand, you are ready when the client calls. Create some small scripts of refusal for each of your services and practice them until they come naturally.
Keeping an eye towards the next contract, the following scenarios might help you:
The Smart freelancer retains control of their client base. Have a list of pre-screened subcontractors available, that you will pay to get the job done. All billing and correspondence will go through you.
When asked to perform services you have not yet done in your field, accept the job. Everyone has a first time and the chances are that the material has been gone over at some point during your training, so don't shoot yourself in the foot and turn down the work. Use your mentor for any clarifications.
If the job requires a more qualified colleague, it would be a waste of everyone's time to try to muddle through a project. This is professional networking. If you have done your homework, you would already have names of qualified people to call on and your client will appreciate your help. Don't worry, they'll return to you for your regular services.
Rejecting work and giving your client a selection of names of colleagues to contact would be only if you really didn't want to be accepting work from this client but wanted to maintain goodwill. By doing the legwork, you've kept a link to future work.
Rejecting the job and the client is really a last resort and should only be done when you find that there is a true clash of personalities and that working together is simply not something that you would be comfortable doing. We can't be all things to everybody and there will be times when you're simply going to clash with somebody else and there's no point in trying to make it work.
Still, you retain control by subcontracting, so think hard before taking this step. You are always building bridges, so you want the refusal to be done in such a way that the client will feel comfortable referring others to you.
The Wheel Turns and You Meet Again
Being prepared for potential problems and reasons for not being able to personally do the work can make all the difference in the world towards the success of your business. People recall the smallest things and, once burned, carry that memory with them through the years.
There's no need to be rude, sarcastic, demeaning, or throw things, when involved in business negotiations. Staying cool and maintaining a calm attitude will always be remembered and mark you as a professional.
You never know when you'll meet again and who will have the upper hand -- but, you will meet again. You can take that to the bank.
