logo
g Text Version
Beauty & Self
Books & Music
Career
Computers
Education
Family
Food & Wine
Health & Fitness
Hobbies & Crafts
Home & Garden
Money
News & Politics
Relationships
Religion & Spirituality
Sports
Travel & Culture
TV & Movies

dailyclick
Bored? Games!
Nutrition
Postcards
Take a Quiz
Rate My Photo

new
Houseplants
Romance Movies
Creativity
Family Travel
Southwest USA
Irish Culture
Home Finance


dailyclick
All times in EST

Full Schedule
g
g Stress Management Site

BellaOnline's Stress Management Editor

g

How to Release Regret


It feels good to be bad once in awhile because we liberate ourselves from restrictions. However, afterwards some of us experience a little guilt, but that soon passes because the fun is worth it! Regrets fall into a different category. We have made a mistake or ďWe should have...Ē Perhaps, we said hasty words in anger or speculated on a financial decision and lost. We fall into a negative loop beating ourselves up emotionally by chewing on our actions, words and silence, like tasteless gum over and over again. This rumination saps our vitality and impedes moving forward.

Since everyone experiences some sort of regret when reflecting on the past, it only becomes a problem if: you tend to exaggerate what you did or didnít do or get addicted to feeling sorry for yourself. If either of those traits applies to you, then regret is causing you to get stuck in a moment. In the context of a life what is a moment?

Look closely at the anatomy of your heart, both hard and soft, tensing and relaxing, circulating and releasing, nutrients and waste products. The heart is Chinese medicineís metaphor for governing the self. The heart is the anatomical source of flow and the goal in life is to flow in whatever you are doing, instead of fighting the current. When you are in a state of flow, you accept what you are doing this moment. This frees your mind and your spirit from past concerns. You can experience life as it comes instead of fearing it or missing out because of past mistakes. This is the heart of the matter.

Regrets dilute your present. Learn from your conflicts the way a boxer or martial artist does. Conflicts on the outside prepare you for conflicts on the inside. There are no regrets in boxing, or karate, only learning how to improve technique and do better. Regret is like a blind spot in your life. When you are driving, you know there is a blind spot in your mirror, so you compensate for it. Similarly, when you navigate life, regret will be lurking there. Take the appropriate measures to maneuver around it:
  • Donít take failure too seriously. There is a danger of falling into great negativity and causing yourself too much worry. As a result, you will continue to actualize failures because they have become a part of you.
  • When you feel pain in your body, the more you think about it, the more it hurts. Remove your focus from the pain and it hurts far less or not at all.
  • Donít dwell on your faults. Pass them by like paintings in a museum that you donít particularly like. Instead focus on the paintings that you do like.
  • Be understanding of others and likewise yourself. Forgive readily, especially yourself.

Let regret lead you to a more logical thought process and more accurate action. Cultivate kindness towards others who triumph when you fail and towards those who lose when you win. By being kind to others you will get habituated to kindness. It will become a part of you and make you feel like a better person. Ultimately, you will be kind to yourself, see your worth and not beat yourself up over a past mistake!
For more information about overcoming regret, read my book, Turn On Your Inner Light: Fitness for Body, Mind and Soul, specifically Chapter 1 - Training to be Conscious, Chapter 10 - How to Let Go, and Chapter 17 - Training to Yield. To listen to archived radio shows with guest experts visit Turn On Your Inner Light Radio Show


Add How+to+Release+Regret to Twitter Add How+to+Release+Regret to Facebook Add How+to+Release+Regret to MySpace Add How+to+Release+Regret to Del.icio.us Digg How+to+Release+Regret Add How+to+Release+Regret to Yahoo My Web Add How+to+Release+Regret to Google Bookmarks Add How+to+Release+Regret to Stumbleupon Add How+to+Release+Regret to Reddit




RSS | Related Articles | Editor's Picks Articles | Top Ten Articles | Previous Features | Site Map


For FREE email updates, subscribe to the Stress Management Newsletter


Past Issues


print
Printer Friendly
bookmark
Bookmark
tell friend
Tell a Friend
forum
Forum
email
Email Editor


Content copyright © 2014 by Debbie Mandel. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Debbie Mandel. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact Debbie Mandel for details.

g


g features
Summer Is The Best Time To Save Your Marriage

How to Deal With Stress Weight Gain

What Your Clutter Reveals About You

Archives | Site Map

forum
Forum
email
Contact

Past Issues
memberscenter


vote
Poetry
Daily
Weekly
Monthly
Less than Monthly



BellaOnline on Facebook
g


| About BellaOnline | Privacy Policy | Advertising | Become an Editor |
Website copyright © 2014 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.


BellaOnline Editor