Guest Author - Marjorie Bishop

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22.6) Excellent advice at one time, but the authors of the Bible didn’t have to deal with mass media showing much more interesting, glamorous and often totally unsuitable role models and lifestyles. Children learn social behavior more from example than through any other method. That old refuge of parents everywhere; “Do as I say, not as I do” has also become “Do as I say, not as THEY do” and will not insure a polite and socially acceptable child.

Lead by example; don’t just tell your children how to act, show your children correct behavior. Cover your mouth when you cough, say excuse me when appropriate and use the three basic phrases of polite behavior (please, thank you and you’re welcome) both at home and in public. If you are rude to your family, you are giving them less status than the stranger you meet on the street. You are also showing them that good manners need only be used when convenient instead of being necessary for all forms of social interaction.

Use television as a tool to reinforce the reasons behind polite behavior and good etiquette. Stress the fact that not everything we see on television is a true representation of society and correct behavior. I can remember, at roughly five years old, asking my parents why they didn’t sleep in twin beds since that is how television at the time portrayed married couples. My phrasing at the time was something along the lines of “the way you’re supposed to.” (My how times have changed.) That’s when I received my first inkling that television does not represent real life.

Remember that “Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn’t have said.” While the author of this quote is unknown, that person definitely knew what he/she was talking about. If your child says something unacceptable the assumption is made that they learned it at home. So; along with setting the example and using television as a teaching tool, you also must pay attention to other outside influences. Peer behavior at child care, preschool and school must be addressed along with chance encounters while out in public. Both will prove good sources for how (and how not) to behave.

Communicate with your children. Be positive about the benefits of good manners and appropriate behavior. Show them how proper etiquette will help ease their way in life. Above all else, to use a couple of well worn but true cliches, “practice what you preach” and don’t fall into the “Do as I say, not as I do” method of inspiring your children. The former gives the best results while the latter is doomed to failure.