It happens to everyone at some point unless you are truly lucky.

Illness, accident, financial crisis, marital problems any of these can adversely affect a business.

How can we deal with unexpected tragedies? The truth is most people can’t, at least in the first instance, they rely on others to help them through, often become worn out or depressed then demand that those helping them continue to do so, regardless of their own lives and problems. People get used to being supported and often find it difficult to get back on their feet again.

When my new company business was just one year old my husband, who was also my partner and the butler half of the enterprise, was diagnosed with Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis. He had been somewhat shaky for some weeks and became very aggressive whilst driving to jobs and losing his way…. he then dropped a number of items, something he had never ever done before. When he was checked out by a specialist the devastating verdict was given. Nothing changed much for a while apart from him shaking a lot and limping badly. He lost interest in the business very quickly and became depressed and frightened.

I had to carry on; this was going to be our only source of income. I had to continue to build it up.

I had been a personal chef for many years as a self-employed person; The Company came about when I wanted to represent other chefs. At first there were quite a few who were as dedicated as myself but unfortunately the whole industry over here became a target for get-rich-quick burger flippers who had no idea of quality, timing and value of client relationship. I had to carry on doing the jobs myself with a very small team of trusted chefs. Finding replacement butlers was difficult. They are extremely expensive and I was already losing one half of our family income.
I trained two lady butlers and found a superb French butler who formed my new team.

My husband became more and more incapacitated over a period of 3 years and then had a bad fall and broke his leg. With MS healing is difficult. With the constant and often violent tremors bone healing is just a long long process. He has metal plates for life and will never really heal. The medication he takes makes him drowsy and has bloated his abdomen so much he cannot balance. He needs constant care.

Running a business with this responsibility is very stressful but we do it.

I give him jobs that I know he can do, telephone, vegetable preparation, choosing and ordering wines. He maintains the vehicles and receives and stores deliveries. He cannot ever be left alone though so I have an added expense of finding a carer to take over when I am working.

All the above is possible with income. The one thing that is ill affordable is one’s own health.

This is often neglected completely in the circumstances described and I myself have fallen victim to the consequences of not taking care of oneself.

I suffer stress related things and autoimmune conditions that are worsened by stress. Trigeminal Neuralgia, Graves, and anxiety disorder.

I have learned to deal with the anxiety, usually brought on by the sudden pain of the Neuralgia. I used to lie down thinking I had an angina attack and it would take 20 minutes or so to pass in some agony. Now I work through the neuralgia, although intensely painful, this way it only lasts 5 minutes and I know it will end. I do not get the feeling I cannot breath. The Graves has subsided so far with medication and I hope it does not return.

It would be all too easy to give up but I refuse too. I have come to terms now with looking after me too. I treat myself occasionally and am far more confident of being able to cope. I think at one point I was a martyr to my husband’s condition and my business and just did not have the physical resources so my body warned me to ease off, to delegate as many tasks as possible and to only take on work that yielded a good return.

I was always doing cut-price jobs for ‘charitable’ events or for people who needed favours. When my time came to need such favours somehow those people were nowhere to be seen. Don’t get me wrong I still do charitable things…but not at the expense of my physical well being.

I have been wanting to publish a book for many years and have collected many items toward this.

This week I had a solid offer from an internationally known food item producer to support this. It would be the ideal situation for me.

Never despair, carry on if it is beneficial to you and the business is viable. You just never know what may be around the corner. Always involve partners in something
No matter what the disability, it makes life so much easier when people have a purpose and feel useful and helpful.


I have been married for 40 years to a guy who once raced cars at Silverstone and all the UK race circuits. He never ever let me drive him. When he became incapable of driving a manual car he had to give way.

After 3 months of utter misery being told how bad I was…we took a holiday and I drove him through the tiny winding mountain roads of Southern Spain, so high up there were 2 metres of snow in places. We drove for 3 hours, sometimes in a blizzard. It was exhilarating. My husband was very quiet and said nothing.

When we got home he was on the telephone to his best friend and I heard him praising my driving and telling how exciting it had been. ‘It was like the old days when we did the Monte Carlo Rally’ he said.

It took him six months before he said these things to me, now he just falls asleep when I drive.

Funny how things turn out!