Guest Author - Kitten Kristine Jackson
Many of the things which trigger depression are life events over which we have little or no control, such as losing a loved one. However, there are issues that affect our mental health on a daily basis over which we have a great deal of control, but in most cases we choose to do nothing about them.
Problems within relationships are the cause of a great deal of depression. If you believe your depression may be related to relationship issues, itís time for you to evaluate them. Be honest with yourself while considering the following questions:
1. What is your part in the problems? To what degree are you responsible for arguments, conflicts, etc.? What can you do to change the circumstances to make things better? Are you willing to make those changes?
2. If you believe the other party is largely responsible for the problems, what can you do about it? Have you asked him (or her) to change his behavior? Have you told him how his behavior makes you feel? Would he consider counseling?
3. Are you being abused? Remember that you donít have to be raped or beaten to be abused. Being insulted, humiliated, made fun of and called names, are also forms of abuse. Another example of abuse is being coerced into doing things which are against your morals or your religious beliefs. Abuse of any kind is unacceptable, and people who truly love and respect you would never want to abuse you.
4. How important is the relationship to you? If it is not important enough to justify the stress involved in preserving the relationship, or the effort it would take to make it better, maybe you should consider ending it. And, of course, you should never hold onto an abusive relationship.
Another issue which affects us over which we do have control is our job(s). Consider how you feel about your job while you ask yourself the following questions:
*Do you have to work with people who are condescending, resentful, rude, or even cruel?
*Does your boss or other coworker seem to have it in for you?
*Do you have to deal with angry customers on a regular basis?
*Do you feel as if youíre required to do things for which you are not qualified, or of which you are not capable?
*Do you come home from work feeling so drained that you canít enjoy time off?
*Are you unable to enjoy Sunday because you dread Monday so much?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you should be looking for another job. We all know that stress contributes to depression, and stress can be deadly even without depression. No amount of money is worth the toll that miserable working conditions can take on your quality of life.
If changing jobs isnít likely to change the circumstances that are causing your depression and stress, look into changing the type of work you do. Many people go into a field because of money, or because of a lack of knowledge about the working conditions they would encounter in that field. Once they realize they are unhappy, they feel trapped.
If this sounds like your situation, itís not easy, but you need to make a change. Think about the things you enjoy doing. You arenít likely to get a job surfing or playing video games, but what about being a lifeguard or a graphics designer? We all have talents and gifts. If you just give it some thought, youíll realize thereís something out there that you could be happy doing.
It will take some planning, and in most cases going back to school, but it will be worth the sacrifice. When you feel discouraged or overwhelmed, just remind yourself about how great it will feel to look forward to going to work because youíre doing something you enjoy and can do well.
There are myriad issues that we deal with daily that affect the way we feel. We tend to accept them as if they are carved in stone, when there are changes we can make to improve our lives drastically for the better. It usually requires work, sacrifice, and even sometimes pain, but the rewards gained from doing away with stressful situations and painful relationships can add years to your life. So get busy making those changes!