Guest Author - Susan D. Bates
Ending a romantic relationship with someone is almost never easy. There is no way to avoid hurting the person you are breaking up with. However, it is important to weigh your decision to end the relationship carefully and to be sensitive during the break up.
If you are considering breaking up with your significant other, follow the tips below to make the break up go as smoothly as possible.
Understand your reasons
When you are considering a break up, think hard about why you want to end the relationship. Make sure you are honest with yourself about your reasons. Having a thorough understanding of your own motivation behind the break up will help you make good decisions.
Do not break up with someone intending to get back together later or with the hope that they will offer to make changes to keep you. Before you end your relationship, make absolutely certain that you want to end it. Once you have broken up, it may be too late to get back together if you change your mind or want to rekindle the relationship later.
Decide what to tell him
It is important to be honest with your partner about your reasons for ending the relationship. However, you donít want to hurt them any more than necessary. Therefore, it is important to choose your words carefully; think about what you will tell them and how you will phrase it. If there is no chance you will get back together with them, make sure that is clearly articulated.
Talk to him in person
Do not break up with anyone by text, email, or through social media unless you are afraid for your safety. It is best to break up in person because is considered a common courtesy. If you have a long distance relationship and donít see each other often, a telephone call can substitute for an in-person break if in-person meetings are rare and travel costs are prohibitive.
Expect them to vent
When you tell your significant other that the relationship is over, he or she could be surprised, hurt, and angry. While itís important not to tolerate abuse, a few harsh words may serve as an emotional outlet for the person being broken up with. Donít be surprised if it happens.
Allow time to heal before being friends
It is possible to remain friends with an ex. However, it is not easy; not every couple is able to forge a friendship, but it can happen. A decision to remain friends must be mutual. If either of you do not want to maintain a friendship, it wonít work.
If you the two of you decide to maintain a friendship after the relationship is over, allow time for your ex to get over you first. It is very difficult to be friends if one of you still has feelings for the other. Decide on a period of time that you will wait before contacting each other. The length of time to wait will vary with each relationship. In general, the longer the relationship, the longer the time that will be required to recover from the break up.
Ending a relationship is a big decision and should not be undertaken lightly. Follow the suggestions above to be certain that you are making the right decision for yourself and to end the relationship as gently as possible.