Guest Author - Cara Newman
Most human, unlike animals, unless born mute have the ability to speak. The ability to communicate through spoken words is truly a privilege and a gift to mankind. We are blessed since via this unique style of communication, human beings have made an incredible progress that has significantly improved our quality of life in a short history.
Since speaking is relatively easy for the most of us, we have forgotten that the ability to communicate through spoken words is a privilege. We become unconscious when it comes to the management of our word power. If we pay attention to the words of others around us and our own words for a day, it is not difficult to find that most of us “ramble” instead of communicating.
One of the fundamental needs of human beings is to be understood or to be “heard”. Since we are social in nature, this intuitive need is natural as it affirms our sense of belonging. However, rambling our uncontrolled and unmanaged words to others or to ourselves serves us negatively. Words carry tremendous power. We should manage them carefully like a skillful sculptor would with his carving knife. When a carving knife is used properly, it produces magnificent art work that elevates our spirit and inspires others with its beauty and creativity. However, when we ramble unconsciously, our words are like sculptor’s knife out of control, cutting senselessly. Not only do this type of behaviors produce little beauty, but carelessly they can also hurt others and make ourselves bleed.
For example, parents have tremendous power with their words when raising their children. When a parent comments negatively to a child out of frustration, these negative words most likely become permanently imprinted in the child’s psyche. Children do not have strong critical factors that discern the truth about themselves from the unjust frustrating comments of their parents. A simple negative comment made by an overworked or angry parent can result in long lasting harm in a child’s life and create havoc later in life. Parents are the first authority figures in a child’s life. Therefore, most often children take in the words of their primary caretakers as the sole truth regardless of the validity.
Another example is our communication with our most intimate love ones. We attract our life partners into our lives. We present our best. If we are fortunate enough, we fall madly in love and commit ourselves to our chosen one. Yet, with the security of the commitment, we become unconscious with the effects of our words on our love ones. We often forget to compliment and show our gratitude. Even worse, we start focusing on the negative, nit-picking our partners through our negative power of words, further depleting their energy to love us. Because they are hurt, our partners fight back with their own power through negative words as the last resort to preserve their sense of fragile ego. Thus the war of this negative cycle begins. Yelling, name calling, and shouting matches are some of the ugly manifestations when we abuse our precious power to speak. These type of behaviors are detrimental to the relationship as well as one’s own psyche. If you are engaged in one of these cycles, you must have the integrity and self-love to stop it immediately.
Many of us have not been aware of the power of our words. If we were taught from day one about what our word power can create, we would have been much more careful with what we say. However, awareness is the first step for change to happen. Starting today, focus only on the good. Learn to pay attention to what we say to others and to ourselves. If you are a parent, please know that you hold the greatest power to shape your child’s life so use your words lovingly. Speak kindly to your loved ones, encourage them, support them and never let a day go by without telling them that you are grateful for them to be in your life. Let us use the power of our words to bring good and contribute to others’ growth. As consciously evolving human beings, let us use the power of our words to build a more loving society that is full of powerful individuals who are master sculptors of life.