Guest Author - Jontay Watson
The question, “Why me?” is one that has plagued almost everyone that has come up HIV/AIDS positive. They consider their lifestyles and wonder how the choice was made that they contracted the virus instead of other people. They may even consider those who have way more liberal sexual lives and wonder why they didn't contract this virus. They may look at those who have worse drug habits or behaviors than they do and wonder why these people didn’t contract the virus. What singles them out of the crowd? Was it something they did? Something about them that made them more appealing to HIV/AIDS?
The bottom line is that HIV does not have a pattern. It doesn't care more about liberal sexual behavior in contrast to conservative behavior patterns. It doesn't care if you have shot up drugs once or hundreds of times. It doesn't care if you are gay or straight. There is no method behind HIV's madness. It can and does strike anyone that it can.
It doesn't care if you are educated or illiterate. It doesn't care about social status. It doesn't care if you are rich or poor. It only cares about one thing, being given the opportunity to infect.
Part of the road to acceptance is successfully getting past the why me portion. Understand that it was your behavior that qualified you to become HIV positive and nothing personal. It was having unprotected sex or using dirty needles or in some cases the choices of parents that lead to you having HIV/AIDS. It wasn't because you weren't smart enough or weren't pretty enough. It doesn't care if you have your PH.d or never graduated from high school. It doesn't care if you weigh 125 or 521 pounds. It doesn’t care if you are Black, White, Hispanic, Asian, Korean or Indian. It only cares about opportunity.
You can only afford to spend a limited amount of time questioning, "Why me?" You must get past that and move onto "What do I need to do now to have a normal life?"
You will never come up with a beneficial answer to why me? Even if you do come up with an answer, it is not an answer that is going to make you feel any better about having the disease. The fact of the matter is you have it, now it is time to move on to 'I am living well with it!"