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BellaOnline's Stress Management Editor


How to Stay On Track This New Year

“I wish I had your will power,” people often tell me when they see me at the gym or read my writing. “So, what’s the problem?” They list a multitude of excuses for why they can’t stay on track. “I’m lazy,” “I procrastinate,” “I have adult ADHD,” “I’m too busy.” I wish I were as inventive. All these responses started me thinking. What is will power anyway? Apparently, it is the vast wasteland between I will and I won’t.

There is great truth to the phrase the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. People always associate will power with the mind, the powerful mind. This is the problem right here because will power is driven from both the mind and the body. When the body is stressed, positive, proactive thinking is undermined. You feel tired, hungry, tense, or achy. How can you have will power at this time? However, you will find that when you eat nutritious food and rest a bit, your perception changes and you are willing and able to take a sustainable action toward your goal.

While a sound body will support a sound mind, an important first step, you need to strengthen your spirit to seal the deal. The next step is to create resonance. Whatever you desire to achieve whether it is weight loss, quitting smoking, exercising, pursuing a higher degree or dating again, you need to reflect if what you wish is in harmony with your inner self.

Do you really want to achieve this goal? Or is this a goal that you:
  • Believe you “should” pursue
  • Feel pressured to achieve for status
When you are in harmony with yourself, you will be eager to complete any goal which you genuinely want because it is your heart’s desire. On the other hand, you lack will power because subconsciously you really don’t want to change the status quo. You might be getting some reward from a bad habit. For example, some of us pity ourselves and enjoy playing the sympathy card. “Poor me, I can’t meet any good men; they’re all taken. I’ll just have to fill my empty heart with this rich, creamy ice cream.”

Ultimately, where there is a (real) will, there is a (flexible) way which is not postponed. You just put one foot in front of the other toward reasonable goals. “Wow, I lost a pound in two weeks by taking a fifteen minute walk every day. I can do this. “I didn’t sit home alone this weekend. I went to a café and watched people come and go the way they do in Europe. An interesting man sitting at a nearby table started talking to me - we had so much in common. We are going to meet at the café next Sunday afternoon.”

Whether you will or you won’t, doesn’t depend on picking the petals off a daisy and seeing if the last remaining petal corresponds to the positive or negative version of your intention. You possess the power to answer Hamlet’s timeless question: To be or not to be? For most of the play Hamlet wavered and couldn’t commit. As a result, he over-reacted, exploded and lost the love of his life. You don’t want to end up like Hamlet! Choose a different story.
For more information on managing your stress and reclaiming your life read my book, Addicted to Stress: A Woman's 7 Step Program to Reclaim Joy and Spontaneity in Life. To listen to archived radio shows with guest experts visit Turn On Your Inner Light Radio Show

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Content copyright © 2018 by Debbie Mandel. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Debbie Mandel. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact Debbie Mandel for details.


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