logo
g Text Version
Beauty & Self
Books & Music
Career
Computers
Education
Family
Food & Wine
Health & Fitness
Hobbies & Crafts
Home & Garden
Money
News & Politics
Relationships
Religion & Spirituality
Sports
Travel & Culture
TV & Movies

dailyclick
Bored? Games!
Nutrition
Postcards
Take a Quiz
Rate My Photo

new
Action Movies
Bible Basics
Houseplants
Romance Movies
Creativity
Family Travel
Southwest USA


dailyclick
All times in EST

Full Schedule
g
g Single Life Site

BellaOnline's Single Life Editor

g

Dating Again


Recently, I got a letter from a friend of mine named Carol who has decided to give Internet dating a try. She had never tried dating online before and didn’t know anyone who had had any experience using it. She is in her early fifties, travels a lot, and rarely has time to develop an ongoing relationship. Carol is a confident, successful woman with a degree in international law. She concluded that the only way she was going to meet someone who could share her love of travel was going to be on the web.

She met a man, whom she liked, and they began writing one another. They exchanged mail daily, sometimes several times a day. Then, as suddenly as the correspondence to flight, it crashed without warning. It had been two weeks and he has not written her back during this time.

She was frantic and wrote me a long letter asking me some questions that had come up for her in retrospect. Questions such as, how often should she write him without sounding desperate? How many times should she email him in a period of a week and not seem too anxious? When is a good time to accept a meeting date after your first cyber contact? And where should your first meeting take place? And before I knew it, my confident, successful, intelligent friend had disappeared. She was replaced by a ‘’Pod-Woman’’ who looked like Carol, but was void of all her lovely self-assured traits.

One of the things I personally dislike about being single – especially being single and over 40 – is that the rules for dating etiquette are constantly changing. I can barely keep up with the latest film release let alone what I’m supposed to know and when I’m supposed to know it when it comes to starting all over again. And this uncertainty can make it fertile ground for self-doubt. If I’m not careful enough to keep perspective on my objectives and who I know myself to be, I can quite easily loose my footing and tumble into the abyss of ‘’fear.’’

But even having said this, I still find that it is easy to feel insecure when we are wandering though new territories. And Carol, even though she was doing something brave by making the decision to take control of her situation and try an online dating service – found herself becoming insecure about a situation that she had little control.

The questions brought up bigger issues for her, and for me - Issues such as our place in this world as women of a certain age who are single. Single either by choice or by circumstance. We found comfort in taking a step back and looking at the state of affairs from a different vantage point.

It turned out that the ‘’man-in-question’’ had a legitimate reason for not getting in touch with her for a fortnight. And they have now resumed their online relationship. But one thing has changed – Carol is no longer possessed by the temporary ‘’Pod-Woman’’ and the brief experience taught us both a valuable lesson. The foundations of our confidence must be built on concrete beliefs; otherwise, that foundation will crumble like sand at the first sign of trouble.

Add Dating+Again to Twitter Add Dating+Again to Facebook Add Dating+Again to MySpace Add Dating+Again to Del.icio.us Digg Dating+Again Add Dating+Again to Yahoo My Web Add Dating+Again to Google Bookmarks Add Dating+Again to Stumbleupon Add Dating+Again to Reddit




RSS | Related Articles | Editor's Picks Articles | Top Ten Articles | Previous Features | Site Map


For FREE email updates, subscribe to the Single Life Newsletter


Past Issues


print
Printer Friendly
bookmark
Bookmark
tell friend
Tell a Friend
forum
Forum
email
Email Editor


Content copyright © 2014 by Christyann Anderson. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Christyann Anderson. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact Christyann Anderson for details.

g


g features
Being Single Can Be Empowering

Single Satisfaction

Do You Enjoy Being Single?

Archives | Site Map

forum
Forum
email
Contact

Past Issues
memberscenter


vote
Poetry
Daily
Weekly
Monthly
Less than Monthly



BellaOnline on Facebook
g


| About BellaOnline | Privacy Policy | Advertising | Become an Editor |
Website copyright © 2014 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.


BellaOnline Editor