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BellaOnline's Stress Management Editor

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Trying To Be Happy Will Not Make You Happy


Many pursue happiness, but only some catch up with it. Part of the problem lies in the verbiage, “Trying to be happy.” Trying implies that one is not there yet and possibly never will be. Happiness is always happening when you embrace your humanity with its full range of emotions, flaws and positive attributes. If you don’t like yourself and can’t accept who you are, how can you be happy or experience love?

How to be happy
Ultimately, you create your own happiness. Creation shapes life out of confusion – chefs, gardeners, musicians, painters, healers, writers and mothers live by this premise. Creators know that light and dark need each other to exist. We define a concept by its opposite. How do we define good if we don’t contrast it with bad? Note that many people say they are happy after they have recovered from sickness, injury or disappointment.

Happiness reconciles contrasts where you get to choose your personal balance. For example, I live in New York and we have been hit with many storms. I look outside the window and could perceive the wintry landscape in either of two ways; each perception is valid and coexists with the other, but one point of view makes me happy and appreciative.
  1. Wow the tree architecture, snowy terrain and white horizon – nature is so powerful! I notice animal foot prints in the snow and a small hawk on a lamp post. The snow is insulating plant life which will emerge in the spring. I will reset my natural rhythm to winter by warming up after work with stews, hearty soups and warm words. I’ll go to sleep earlier and get cozy under the covers.
  2. I’m sick of looking at the Tundra! I have had it with shoveling and looking for parking in the snow and ice. I hate this weather.
Here are some contrasts you might want to reconcile in order to feel happy:
  • Independence versus Interdependence
  • Adventure versus Escape
  • Yes versus No
  • Giving versus Receiving
  • Acting- As- If versus Authenticity
  • Accomplishing for others versus Accomplishing for Yourself
  • Activity versus Rest
  • Adversity versus Advantage

Life is a movie. We all come in the middle of the movie and we all leave in the middle of the movie. What kind of a movie do you wish to see?
For more information on managing your stress and reclaiming your life read my book, Addicted to Stress: A Woman's 7 Step Program to Reclaim Joy and Spontaneity in Life. To listen to archived radio shows with guest experts visit Turn On Your Inner Light Radio Show




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Content copyright © 2014 by Debbie Mandel. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Debbie Mandel. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact Debbie Mandel for details.

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