I overheard some of the higher average bowlers talking about the dry lane conditions the other night (talk? actually, they were complaining and whining). My reaction was, "hey, if you guys think of yourselves as such good bowlers, why can't you adjust?"

Our regular routine is to oil once in the morning before the center opens and again in the afternoon just before the 5:30 PM leagues. A special oiling for the higher average bowler league was put into place because for the previous two years, our manager was having to endure a constant stream of whining about dry lane conditions because they bowl at 8:00 PM and the 5:30 PM league dries the lanes out. So now, even with this special run of the machine, they're still complaining about dry lane conditions.

This, of course, started me thinking. As I look back over my 40+ years of bowling, I realize that there have always been whining about dry lane conditions. (The exceptions being the Sport Bowling League that I participated in; and I'm sure, the PBA Experience Bowling League just from hearing bowlers talk about it. Then they were whining about too much oil on the lanes!)

I believe you'll see the reason for dry lane conditions just from the following facts about our routine for lane oiling:

1) In my hometown, we still have wood lanes. When the automatic oiling machine began regular use, the maintenance guy told me that it was set for 24 units (of oil) in the morning and 20 units of oil in the afternoon. This was pretty standard stuff around the state of Hawaii, verified by me asking about the units of oil wherever we went to bowl.

2) Since moving back here to the mainland, the 24 units has been the majority answer. (Of course nowadays, the questions of oil patterns has to be added to the mix, but that's another subject altogether.)

3) In the Sport Shot League last summer, we were told they used 48 units which is double the normal shot that "everyone" is getting on a day-to-day basis.

4) Prior to a Western Region Tournament in Kona, Hawaii in the late 1990's, I was told that they were laying down upwards of 60 units of oil. They would not get more specific than that because of "secrecy" - like that would have given me an unfair advantage if I knew. Yeah, right.

5) The current center where I work lays down 17 units of oil per lane. I suppose that over the years, they have settled on that number as a compromise for the sake of the older bowlers who make up the greater majority of our regular and league bowlers.

Note: With regards to "Units of Oil," the best explanation I've gotten is that one unit of oil is approximately equal to the thickness of a postage stamp. It can't be stated in ounces or liters because it is actually a mixture of substances.

As I mentioned, I'm sure that you can already see the reason, can't you? It doesn't take much analysis to see why my bowling center will tend to be on the drier side at all times.

The only chance for the lanes to get oilier is if the budget people will authorize an increase in the oiling funds. As with any company, how easy is it to convince the "bean counters" that you need to raise the oiling budget when the specifications state a minimum of 3 units is all that is necessary to protect the lane, you are already laying down 17 units, and the greater majority of your regular customers are getting their share of honor scores and awards from the USBC?

As a side note: I bowled a tournament in my hometown where the mechanic made an error and only 4 units of oil were laid down. It was a straight baller's dream shot and they came away with the majority of the prizes. I couldn't keep the ball on the right side of the headpin throwing a conventional grip Manhattan Rubber I picked up off the rack.

Getting back to the 8:00 PM, higher average, league bowlers. They all carry multiple bowling balls and it is now twelve weeks into their league. The prize fund has been revealed and it will be very substantial. They have tried all the physical (and I suppose, mental) adjustments - moving forward and backward, lofting the ball further out, laying the ball short, throwing their spare ball, etc.

One of the teams is sponsored by the closest Pro Shop in the area which is less than 3 miles from the bowling center. Three of the members are the owners and all are certified ball drillers who have attended every ball drilling seminar available.

If you are going to spend 36 weeks bowling under the current dry conditions and they never vary much, why not invest in a new bowling ball drilled specifically for the conditions? I would, wouldn't you?

A Hui Hou! (See You Again!)