Precious Cargo Movie Review

Precious Cargo Movie Review

“What was the plan, Karen? Was it worth it?” Jack.

The film opens with Jack (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) attempting to sell guns to arms dealers. The deal goes south and the mayhem begins…or does it? Stand-by for a bit of confusion as we progress through this movie. If you’re like me, you may have thought that Jack was an undercover police officer attempting to catch the bad guys, nope, he is a super thief. Jack gets conned by his seductively pretty, ex-girlfriend Karen (Claire Forlani), who is also pregnant and, by the way, is also a thief, into working just one last job to save her from even more bad guys. The problem is, he loves her, but can he trust her?

See if you can follow… Karen tries to execute a heist, planned by the king of thieves, Eddie (Bruce Willis). Eddie gets mad, calls the cops on Karen while she is executing the heist and demands 100 percent of the profits. You would think she learned her lesson about messing with Eddie, but no. She enlists (another word for cons), Jack into helping her pull off another “Eddie planned heist” pulling them both into danger.

Great movie moments:

The boat chase scene was kind of fun.

If you’re a movie fan, you will have fun matching the scenes in Precious Cargo to scenes in other movies.

Not so great movie moments:

Do you like the movies? Prepare to be reminded of almost every movie you have ever seen…ever. Remember Titanic? Karen was in obvious competition to see if she could surpass Rose on how many times she could say the name “Jack” in a sentence...every sentence. Did you ever see the movie Mr. and Mrs. Smith with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie? The bickering between Jack and Karen will make you think you were watching a Mr. and Mrs. Smith remake without the panache. The list of movie nods is astonishing. It makes you wonder if it was done purposely or just show a lack of originality from the writers.

Bruce Willis. Hello? Are you awake? Willis lends his star-power name to this vehicle as chief king pin, but his performance lacks luster. While he plays most of the movie fairly emotionless, you will see a brief nod to his days in Moonlighting.

Precious Cargo is pretty much predictable at every turn.

Jenna B Kelly plays Logan, a sharp-shooter on Jack’s team. Her character is a bit confusing. Is Jack her mentor? Is she a teenager, playing with the big boys, but just happens to be a really great sharpshooter?

The end seems to drag out further then absolutely necessary and I'm not sure why. The bad guys are already toast. Jack has made an attempt to get back his new girlfriend….why is the movie still running?

Overall, I give this movie a two out of five stars, only because I happen to be a Mark-Paul Gosselaar fan.


Director: Max Adams… You may remember him from directing two similar movies, The Heist and Extraction.

Rating: R. Explosions…massive shootings…a ton of blood and the use of the “F” word in every possible opportunity in every possible sentence. Adult themes. In other words…no kids.

Runtime: 90 unforgiving minutes

You can find this movie at Amazon:

Precious Cargo

I rented this movie from the DVD store (yes we still have one of those). I paid for it with my own funds and have not been compensated for this review.

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