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Kelli Deister
BellaOnline's Child Abuse Editor

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Newsletter Archive
Verbal abuse happens when someone in authority verbally attacks others. Those in authority include parents, teachers, and relatives. As a spectator, you might find yourself questioning whether or not a certain statement against a child is appropriate or abusive. Verbal abuse includes calling names and saying things that are not indicative of a healthy relationship, even when it is between a child and their parent.

For instance, a little boy that wants to play baseball and finds himself accepted onto a team, may hear abusive words spoken to him by his parent. Perhaps the child’s parent tells him that he is too lazy to help the team, too sensitive to participate, and too stupid to either catch the ball or hit it. Another example is the soccer coach of a little girls’ team. The little girls try as hard as they can to kick it to the other side. However, their coach responds to their efforts by verbally abusing them. Perhaps they are told that they should just give up, since they always kick like a girl. Or perhaps, the coach uses these little girls as examples to how not to play the game. Either way, this is verbal abuse.

Lastly, perhaps a kindergarten teacher verbally abuses the students in their class. Each time the teacher gets angry with the students in their care, they begin to use their words to compare their current students with their past students, leaving them to feel shame and guilt because they cannot measure up to the other students..

Verbal abuse is not okay. It is not appropriate. No one has the right to verbally abuse others. While verbal abuse does not leave visible bruises on the child’s body, it does leave wounds on the heart and spirit of the child. Those in authority must be extremely cautious as to how they speak to a child in their care. No child deserves to be subjected to verbal abuse. Instead, every child deserves to hear praises and encouragements from the authority figures in their life.

There are warning signs to alert you to the fact that a child is being verbally abused. While many children are somewhat shy, there are still obvious signs of abuse for those that are quiet, rather than shy. There is a difference between being shy and being withdrawn and quiet. If a child, which is normally vocal and assertive, begins to appear as withdrawn or isolated, this is certainly something to take into consideration of suspected verbal abuse. This is due to the fact that many children that are verbally abused will maintain their silence outside of home, such as in school. Another sign of verbal abuse is when the child begins to call themselves names or incessantly talks of their failures and faults. Usually, those are the type of remarks made towards them by an authoritative adult in their life. They are merely speaking out what is told to them frequently.

If you, as my readers, are teachers, aunts, uncles, school health aides, school counselors etc., and you suspect that a child is being verbally abused, please report your suspicion, especially if the child suddenly begins to act very different from their normal behaviors. Please consider making the call. Your suspicion may be wrong; however, it is better to be safe than sorry. It would be better for you to have reported it and saved a child from further abuse, than to ignore the nagging suspicions and get involved when it is too late.


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