Life borders on the applied chaos theory when a mom and both her children have Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) or Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD). As a parent of a high-energy child with ADHHHHHHD, you are constantly on alert as to when to ask him to tone it down a notch. Before you realize what is happening you turn apologizing into an art form. I was doing my children a great disservice, and although it has taken me awhile, I have learned not to apologize for what is appropriate age and situational behavior.
My children love the water, and what better way to get energy out on a scorching summer afternoon than to visit the local outdoor swimming pool. My son was 5 years old the summer he taught his mom a major life lesson. On this particular day, he was hopping through the shallow pool water imitating a frog. I could hear him yelling at me, “mom look!” followed by subsequent ribiting as he hopped toward the entrance of the swimming pool. I could tell he was ready to explore one of the other three pools in the complex as I followed behind him.
As he hopped out of the pool, he inadvertently splashed a woman who was sitting on the edge of the pool soaking her feet in the water and reading a book. The woman quickly stood up acting very dismayed, waving her arms and hands around dramatically to show her discontentment at getting wet. I quickly apologized multiple times to the woman saying, “I am so sorry! He is ADHD and has so much energy!” as I followed my son to the next pool. I immediately began chiding myself for apologizing for what is essentially acceptable and anticipated behavior for his age and the situation.
Good grief my five-year-old son had been imitating a frog in a public pool! Why in the world had I apologized for him accidently splashing a woman sitting on the edge of that same public pool? My son had not taken a bucket of water and rudely dumped it over her while she sat 20 feet away from the pool. If the woman did not wish to get wet, why was she sitting on the edge of a packed swimming pool on a hot summer afternoon?
That was a significant light bulb moment for this ADD Mom, as I realized that I had become accustomed to apologizing for my son’s high-energy behavior because it makes people uncomfortable. My child has a continuous hunger to know how the world around him works, which leads my highly intelligent son to ask frequent questions usually in a rapid-fire succession. My incredible son happens to see the world in a way very few people ever will. To him each day is a giant opportunity to explore, discover and conquer new things.
My son has no fear. He is extremely inquisitive. Always seeking answers to that which he does not know. The world intrigues and fascinates him. Yet, there is very little patience for the mundane daily tasks required of home and school. My incredible son will spend hours in the back yard with a dustpan and whiskbroom “cleaning my dirt” as he sweeps it up and puts it into his bright red wagon. Later he adds water. Two days after it has baked in the hot summer sun, my son discovers he made “concrete”.
That sizzling summer day at the local pool, this mom made a personal vow she would never again apologize for her son’s appropriate age activities. There is never a reason to justify a child’s quest to play and explore his environment when done appropriately for the situation. This is only one of many great insights I have gained through the eyes of my high-energy child. I have so much still to learn. What has your ADD child taught you as a parent? Please feel free to share your thoughts on ADD or parenting an ADD child in our free ADD forum. Mi vida loca or welcome to my crazy life!
