- "Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway. "--
- "Married love between man and woman is bigger than oaths guarded by right of nature. "
- "Marriage is more than four bare legs in a bed. "
-- Hoshang N. Akhtar
- "Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third."--
Woody Allen (Hollywood Ending, 2002)
- "A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it. "
- "A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What do you mean?" responded her mother. "Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came back with another." "
- "Is it better for a woman to marry a man who loves her than a man she loves. "
- "All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult. "
- "He believes that marriage and a career don't mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job. "
- "Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that."--
- "It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man. "
- "Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter. "
- "Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. "
- "Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo... "
- "Marriage is like a box of chocolates. You have to squeeze a few bottoms to make sure you like what you are getting. "
- "Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot. "
- "Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings. "
- "Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. "
- "It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage. "
-- Jane Austen
- "Wives are young men's mistresses, companions for middle age, and old men's nurses. "
-- Francis Bacon
- "Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success."--
- "My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact."--
- "Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it. "
- "Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner. "
-- Amy Bloom
- "Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery."--
- "I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children they just about throw up. "
-- Barbara Bush
- "All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage."--
- "In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved. "
-- Samuel Butler
- "People marry through a variety of other reasons, and with varying results; but to marry for love is to invite inevitable tragedy. "
-- James Branch Cabell
- "When you make the sacrifice in marriage, you're sacrificing not to each other but to unity in a relationship. "
-- Joseph Campbell
- "When people get married because they think it's a long-time love affair, they'll be divorced very soon, because all love affairs end in disappointment. But marriage is a recognition of a spiritual identity. "
-- Joseph Campbell
- "If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam. "
-- Johnny Carson
- "If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry. "
- "Marriage is an adventure, like going to war. "
-- G. K. Chesterton
- "The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. "
-- S. T. Coleridge
- "Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. "
-- Irwin Corey
Forever and Always
- "I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night. "--
- "I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again. "
-- Noel Coward
- "Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take what I have to give. "
-- Cass Daley
- "My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. "--
- "I'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage and guarantee he'd be dead within a year. "
-- Bette Davis
- "Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finish up. "--
- "Marriage is a lottery in which men stake their liberty and women their happiness. "
-- Madame de Rieux
- "Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight."--
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