Guest Author - Candice F. Williamson
Unemployment is not an easy weight to carry, and there are many factors that can contribute to its burden. However, the one that can become your greatest hindrance is bitterness. Bitterness is the refusal to let go of disappointment. This severe form of grief will lead to self destructive behaviors, and will affect your ability to cope with your job loss. Therefore, it is necessary to understand where bitterness comes from and how it can affect you, so that you can successfully move towards your goals.
Understand that it is perfectly normal to grieve over you job loss. Proper grieving is a three part process that consists of the following:
1.) Identifying your emotions- It is unhealthy to bury your feelings. At some you have to acknowledge, and once you do you enter into the first stage of grief.
2.) Understanding your emotions-Acknowledging and expressing your feelings leads to insight, and an understanding. This is the stage where you see how your emotions are affecting your thinking, behavior, and relationship with others.
3.) Letting go- The last stage of grieving is moving forward. Freeing yourself from hurts, embracing joy, and setting new goals for yourself.
Bitterness arises when we fail to successfully complete the grieving process. It is best for you to deal with your emotions in a timely manner. You cannot afford to linger too long in fear after you have lost your job.
A negative attitude eats away at self confidence. From the way you dress to the direction of your conversation, your attitude reveals itself. Therefore, it is important to maintain a healthy outlook on life if you are to succeed in finding a new job.
Many employers can easily weed out those who are still angry, or saddened by the breakup with their past employer. Usually the red flag is the persons inability to talk positively about the future. No matter where the interviewer tries to move the conversation, the bitter ex- employee always finds a way to bring up the relationship with her past employer. Needless to say, this is not a trait that employers are looking for.
So how do you avoid bitterness?
Learn to see your trials as opportunities to learn and grow. Many successes were born out of hardships. Facing the troubles of unemployment should not be the end of your story, but the beginning of a new chapter. Remember it's pressure that makes the diamond.
