Guest Author - Angela England

Baby shower etiquette is becoming more loose and relaxed than in the past, but there are still certain guidelines most people will expect to be followed.

Who Hosts the Baby Shower for the Mother?
In the past, tradition called for someone completely outside the family of the expectant mother to host the baby shower. However, it is now considered acceptable for a mother or sister to hold the baby shower and send out invitations, etc. It is not considered good manners for the mother to throw her own baby shower.

While the mother-to-be can certainly have a say in certain things, and the hostess will get the guest list from her, the party is for her so it shouldn't be given by her.

Who is Invited to the Baby Shower?
Sometimes a mother will have more than one baby shower if people from a certain circle want to host a specific event for her; she may have a baby shower at work, and one at church. Sometimes the hostess will want a small gathering of a particular group of people. Other times the baby shower hostess will ask the mother-to-be for whatever other friends and family she wants to include in the event.

It is also becoming more acceptable for a baby shower to include men. This can be either just the expectant father, and all the women at the party, or the event can be open to both men and women.

Should a Mother Get a Baby Shower for her Second (or Third, or....) Baby?
While this may not make Miss Manners happy, my emphatic answer is YES! Every baby is a blessing and should be celebrated as the unique arrival to the world that he is. Without going into specifics of a baby shower for an experienced mother, think about what she will definitely be needing.

Not only can she register for baby items she may not have received with the first baby, there are other items she'll be more in need of for a second or third time mother. Consider giving diapers in multiple sizes, baby wipes, and other perishables. Many mothers will also appreciate frozen meals ready to go since they will not only have a newborn infant to deal with, but also an older child to feed as well.

Gifts, Registries, and Thank You Notes
Gifts should be opened at the baby shower during the party so guests can see the mother appreciate the gift and other attendees can see what was given. The exception to this rule is, if the mother is given money directly, a greeting card can be mailed directly to their house. Gift cards are acceptable to open at a baby shower but are not passed around the room, nor is the amount disclosed to the other guests.

Baby registries are a very useful way for friends of the expectant parents to know what baby items are needed and themes that are desired. While it may have been considered bad etiquette to include gift registry information in the baby shower invitation in past decades, now it is usually considered helpful to do so.

Regardless of the times, thank you notes never go out of style. After the baby shower a mother-to-be should send thank you notes to her guests within about a month. Sometimes the hostess can have guests pre-address envelopes for the mother, and give them to her already stamped and ready to go to make this easier for her. The baby shower hostess should also make sure that someone is in charge of writing down what the mother received and who gave it, in case the cards get separated from the packages.

Did you enjoy this article? It's part of the Baby Shower Basics ebook which includes everything you need to put together a successful baby shower.