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How To Develop Coping Skills
Parents are sometimes unsure of the pressures their teenagers face. The idea that stress may be part of their teenagerís lives can come as a surprise. When adults are busy with their own lives, having to face the realization that stress has now become part of their childrenís lives can be daunting.
One personís drama is another personís walk in the park. Situations that will leave one teenager feeling full of angst may not have any determent effect on their siblings or friends.
Stress is natureís way of preparing for a challenge. Long-term stress can produce a reaction in the body, which results in teenagers not recognizing the signs of stress.
The Teenage years are about learning how to live life. Teenagers begin to encounter a growing array of situations, which are new, exciting and sometimes challenging. They are forming their own opinions, looking to their future ambitions and developing friendships. Some areas of their lives are going to be stressful. In essence, they are exploring their own identity; they may be finding their teenage years to be a series of mental and physical challenges.
They negate the feelings of sadness, irritability, they may not associate crying or feeling down with levels of stress in their lives.
Peer pressure can have a real effect on teenagers, schoolwork, body changes, pressures from the media and social networking, along with a whole host of other situations can be puzzling.
Parents have the task of helping teenagers navigate the hurricane years. So try to keep a watchful eye, look out for a whole range of different signals. Some of these will include a shortness of temper, not eating, finding schoolwork difficult, no interest in hobbies, and difficulty in forming friendships. Keeping themselves in their rooms, slamming doors, shouting, the list can be endless. You have to be alert to any changes. Please remember stress is a real experience that will manifest eventually with all teenagers.
You know your child; you have lived with your teenager for some years. Teenagers are developing their individual life plans but you are their parent, they will develop their own selves and you will feel as if they have become aliens. Do not lose sight of the fact you have a loving bond and they may be depending on you to steer them through the stress of the teenage years.
How teenagers learn to handle stress is taught mainly by the parent/carers or caregivers. A ranting parent may produce a ranting teenager. A parent who has remained calm, worked through different situations with a problem solving mind, or has given the message 'life is hard but this is how we handle it' example, has given a blueprint on how to problem solve.
The first stage of handling stress is emotional, how teens react to any situation will give a clue as to their emotional maturity. The emotional stage will be difficult; they could be unsure of how to handle the battering of new emotions they are facing.
Teenagers will have to develop complex emotional and mental faculties before they reach adulthood.
In handling stress in an emotional manner, teenagers may become deceitful, enter into denial or exaggerate situations. They are doing this because they have not found problem or any focused solutions. They are using a defense mechanism rather than a strategy. As they develop coping strategies, their mechanisms turn to behavioral patterns. They are maturing their ability to handle stressors.
If you notice, your teenager becoming stressed then help is at hand. You are their first port of call, you may not have all the answers but you will know someone who does!
*Notice your teenager; engage with them, if you are worried they about their eating, or sleeping habits or their health is at risk seek help right away .
*Keep communication open, I say to parents you need time to be you, but remember if they need to speak to you even if you have just run a hot bubble bath, listen, sometimes teenagers will not find the courage to try to talk again.
*Teenagers may not be able to talk to parents, for a whole variety of reasons. Recognize their embarrassment or need to grow away from you. Begin conversations by recogniszing their needs.
*Do not minimize their concerns, do not speak in a disparaging manner, mock or talk down to them. If they have found the courage to talk, please be respectful, recognize their stress, become encouraging, tell them you are there to help and that there has not been a problem invented that does not have a solution.
*Remember that you are their first tutors. How you handle life, the skills you have developed are part of the way you have nurtured your teenagers until they find the maturity to do life differently. If you are calm, you will display a good pathway for them to follow.
*Encourage your teenager not to be a loner, taking part in activities, especially sports, can be a good stress reliever. Teenagers need to talk, form strong peer bonds, feel part of a social network. Sport can help with stress, if sport is not their cup of tea - dancing, walking the dog or swimming, anything that encourages movement will help.
*Stress can isolate, if they will not talk to you (the parent)then ensure there is a significant other or a friend in which they can confide.
Remember that stress happens to many people. Finding solutions and developing coping mechanisms is the key to living with stress successfully.
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