A While back, my husband and I ran into an old friend. We were happy to hear that he had found the Lord. We were saddened to hear that his girlfriend had cheated on him and they subsequently broke up. He said something that stuck in my mind. He said that he was accountable for her actions and that he was responsible for the ending of their relationship. This stuck in my mind because I have been born again for about seven years now and have witnessed the ending of some marriages I thought would last forever. I have done some studying of God’s Word on the issue of dating relationships and marriage and infidelity.
One of the marriages that broke up was a beautiful couple who had a blended family. He had three beautiful daughters who loved their stepmother very much. This couple had a little boy of their own and the girls doted on their brother. When the wife became pregnant again, something happened. She took their son and left her husband and the girls for good. The husband continued to go to church with his girls and try to make some sense of the situation. He spoke to me once about it and we came to the conclusion that however pure and spiritual his now ex-wife had seemed, we questioned her salvation for not being able to stick with the commitment of the relationship with the help of the Lord.
The other marriage that I witnessed breaking up was one of the elders in our church at that time. His wife's father had become very sick and as much as we prayed that he would get better, the Lord had a different plan in mind. He died. The wife didn’t handle the death of her father very well and blamed God, her husband, and the whole congregation for not caring about her. She turned completely away from God and would berage her husband with accusations about where his God was now. They eventually divorced even though this man tried to work it out.
I understand where my old friend was coming from. He was trying to live up to the commandment Jesus gave about husbands being the spiritual leader of the home and loving your wife as Jesus loved the church; enough to give His life for it. But, my friend and his girlfriend weren’t married. She never wanted to get married. So does that absolve him of this responsibility? Hmmm it’s a good question.
I believe this: God some times performs surgery. He cuts away at the things in our lives to make us holy. The process of sanctification can be a painful one. Sometimes, God cuts away the things or people who are going to keep us from being totally His. I have seen this happen several times. People that we knew before we came to the Lord are different now, or we are, and we have nothing in common with them anymore. We try to bring them up with us by planting the seeds, but ultimately it’s up to them and God to do the dirty work.
I think my old friend is going to be just fine. I think he will get over the pain and find peace in the Lord. I also think that Jesus is planning something big in his life. I didn’t get a chance to tell him these things. I wish I had. I’m sure that God will.