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Karm Holladay
BellaOnline's Jewelry Making Editor

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Book Review - Naughty Secretary Club, The

I have to admit that I haven’t yet had the time to try a project from The Naughty Secretary’s Club by Jennifer Perkins., but it looks like such a fun book that I’m eager to try.

(COPYRIGHT: I'm so sorry to have to put this here, but I've had trouble with online content theft. Readers are welcome to print my articles for their personal use, but I do not allow my text or photos to be copied to anyone's online site. No one may use my content without written permission from me.)

Those of you who prefer formal jewelry such as pearls and gold may not be as interested. But if you love (1) pop-culture kitsch, (2) wacky retro stuff, (3) or even recycling junk to make unexpected pieces of jewelry, you’ll probably scream with delight over this book.

It features full-color photographs that illustrate the steps of each project. In addition, you get photographs of mannequins modeling the finished jewelry, which is almost as good as seeing the pieces worn by real secretaries. The mannequins definitely add to the retro feel of the book; they look straight out of 1950s.

We also get sidebars filled with interesting trivia such as statistics on office romances and lists of secretary-themed songs (I’ll bet the only one that comes to your mind is Dolly Parton’s song, "9 to 5".) The only thing I dislike is the overly-ornate font used on the back cover and the captions (but not, thank goodness, for the actual instructions) that resembles handwriting and is hard to read.

You never know with trash-to-treasures type crafts-books if you’re going to really want to wear the jewelry you end up with, or if it will look like a dried-macaroni necklace your five year-old made in summer camp. But I was pleasantly surprised to see that these projects generally look sophisticated and appealing while definitely expressing a sense of the absurd.

The author divides her projects into the following skill levels: beginning ("First Day on the Job"), intermediate ("You Deserve a Raise"), and advanced ("Running the Show"). She puts the simple projects into the first section (titled "Monday Morning"), the more ambitious projects into the next section ("Hump Day"), and the extravagant stuff in the last section ("TGIF"), which has an amusing dual-theme of happy hour and casual Friday.

Here is what you get.

First, there is the Introduction, Job Skills, Supplies and Tools, and Secretary School (basic jewelry-making techniques).

A Case of the Mondays gives you

Office Hanky-Panky Jewelry Set. Bracelet, necklace, earrings, ring. Made from vintage clip-on earrings and vintage fabric-covered buttons.

Thank You for Calling Bangles. Made from vintage phone-cord in brightly colored coils wrapped around a concealed length of plastic tubing.

Pencil Pusher Necklace. Made with a vintage fountain-pen cap from which dangles several delicate gold charms on chains like a tassel. Pretty!

Shredded Junk Mail Bangles. Decoupage shredded paper atop pre-made plastic bangles.

Shredded Junk Mail Necklace. Decoupage shredded paper atop big wooden beads.

Jot-‘Em-Down Earrings. Pre-made plastic earrings hung with pre-made pencil charms.

Ravishing Receptionist Sweater Clips. Felt and gems plus binder clips or alligator clips

Paper Clip Necklace. Paper clips in assorted colors, some adorned with colorful contact-paper, attached together.

Binder-Folder Bling Necklace. Shapes cut out of plastic folders in assorted neon colors, decorated with assorted colorful brads, and strung on chain.

Clickity Clack Shoe Clips. Ribbon, shoe-clips, and two miniature plastic typewriters.

Phoning Flo Necklace. Decoupage pendant with a gold-chain tassel.

Hump Day includes

Whistle at Work Necklace. Big, plastic bead necklace strung with plastic gnome cake-toppers. I'll admit, this one is a little too weird for me.

Quitting Time Headband. Plastic headband accessorized with cloth ribbons and a vintage watch-face.

Transfer Me Jewelry. Plastic jewelry decorated by decoupage and rub-on transfers (images and letters used in scrapbooking).

Secretary’s Delight Bracelet and Ring Set.Images set in resin cubes (formed with an ice-cube tray) and connected with jump rings into a bracelet. Pretty!

Pink Collar. A detachable felt collar in the style of the 1950s, decorated with glued strands of pearls and pink beads. Amusingly, the author's pink beads spell out, "This job sucks," but you can vary the message. I probably would!

Clock Watcher Necklace. Strung together out of vintage watch-faces, jump rings, vintage gold plates, vintage gold secretary badges, and gold-chain tassels. Pretty!

Copy Machine Necklace.Here, you're making a mold with something called Melting Pot and then using it to make charms out of a substance that includes powdered enamel.

All-Access Pass Badge Holder.You scan an image, print it on printer fabric, and whip-stitch it to a piece of craft felt to form a 3-D image stuffed with fiber fill. Sew on a pin-back and then suspend your badge from this pin. Pretty!

Tied Down Brooch. Vintage ties sewed and fastened into a flower-shape with a fabric-covered button.

Tin Typewriter Bracelet.You cut up tin plates from an old toy typewriter, file down the rough edges, and connect them with jump rings into a bracelet.

The TGIF section features the

Happy Hour Charm Bracelet. Made with plastic beach nut beads and the cut-off decorative heads from big plastic swizzle-sticks which are drilled so as to be strung on jump rings as charms.

Casual Friday T-Shirt Necklace. Use quilt batting and fusible interfacing to transform the cut-out design from a tee-shirt into a fabric necklace.

Hotel Key Necklace. Literally a vintage hotel-key consisting of a big plastic fob, accessorized with plastic flowers and strung on a chain as a pendant. Weird, but I like it.

Secretary’s Pad Necklace. Made from big plastic beads and colorful plastic dollhouse furniture.

Secretary’s Day Bouquet Necklace. You use an expansion bracelet (one of those things that looks like a metal-link watchband) and attach a huge amount of plastic charms and beads via headpins that you wrap into loops connected to the bracelet. Totally eye-catching!

To a Great Secretary Necklace. Made from a plastic cake-topper and bright-colored plastic chain.

Specs Appeal Necklace. You use a vintage pair of children's eyeglasses, complete with lenses, and use resin to seal various images behind the lenses. Then you suspend the glasses-frame on a chain made of plastic rings and beads. Pretty!

Typewriter-Ribbon Tin Necklace. You put together a necklace of black and red beads, vintage typewriter keys, and a round metal typewriter-ribbon tin as a pendant. Unfortunately, the photo on this one doesn't show anyone wearing it, so I have a hard time visualizing how it would look. The tin itself seems to be at least 2-inches in diameter so I don't know if it would look / feel clunky or what.

Last we get Patterns and Pictures, Everybody’s Blogging for the Weekend, Resources, Unlikely Sources, and an Index.

My overall impression is that this is a fun book of projects. Just so you know, the focus here seems to be not to create jewelry from scratch in the way that you might put together something entirely new from raw materials like hammered wire or seed-beads. In many of these projects, you're starting with pre-existing items like plastic bangles, plastic headbands, shoe clips, and sweater clips and you're altering them with found objects or techniques such as decoupage. But, if that's your preference, you will especially enjoy this book. You can buy it on Amazon.com here: The Naughty Secretary Club: The Working Girl's Guide to Handmade Jewelry

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Content copyright © 2009 by Karm Holladay. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Karm Holladay. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact Karm Holladay for details.

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