Guest Author - Marisa Seale
What is incest? Incest can be defined as improper physical contact between blood relatives.
In many cases this results in unwanted pregnancies; diseases; deformed or brain impaired children. These are only the physical implications; the emotional trauma is far greater.
Incest is rarely consensual between two parties, although there have been cases where grooming and the nature of the relationship has led to parties experiencing what they term mutual feelings of love for one another. A father that has lost his wife whom he really loved is left with his daughter that looks so much like her mother and a daughter that suddenly finds herself playing the role of “woman of the house” is vulnerable to incest occurring if the father oversteps the boundaries or reciprocates if the daughter makes the first move. They are literally drawn together in their grief over the mother/wife and find physical relief in their mutual pain.
Another scenario may be a mother whose husband has walked out on them and starts off with her and her son cuddling to fall asleep in their mutual grief. This is fine and normal, but when cuddling turns to full physical interaction that is not proper between a mother and son; it becomes incestuous. Added use of alcohol or drugs may increase the chances of this happening.
This is not to say all loss of either parent will lead to incest as incest is not only limited to children and their parents, but to any blood relative. These are only scenario’s to show what incest is. Incest can also occur while both parents are alive. Incest can occur between siblings, nieces, uncles & aunts, grandparents making it a blow to the heart of families. This is what makes incest seem worse than being abused by outsiders; the fact that it is people you ought to trust and love unconditionally and to know for sure that they would never hurt you on purpose which is exactly what happens.
The emotional implications are of course far reaching in incest cases. As mentioned previously, in some cases the two parties experience feelings of real love and when the incest comes to light and they are separated; the feelings of loss are immense and the shame that follows in the case of a child being subjected to this from a young age and accepting it as normal and then finding out how abnormal it truly is; is devastating. Throw in a child that may have been borne out of this and you see utter devastation in all the parties lives.
A couple of years ago there came to light a brother and sister that had children together and carried on a normal life to the outside world. Imagine the children finding out their parents are brother and sister; imagine dealing with friends comments and knowing that you are borne out of an incestuous relationship and on top of that losing either or both of your parents because of this.
What makes incest so horrific is that it is family who commit these deeds, sometimes repeatedly too. For example a mother sleeps with both her sons and a father sleeping with his daughters or nieces. Incest is not limited to one family member and in many cases, depending on the situation can be spread throughout a family for many generations.
The bottom line is that incest is wrong. There are no exceptions to this. No excuses by any parties and if you or anyone you know is involved in an incestuous relationship, seek help immediately.
