Dice are alive.

This is a fact that all gamers know. Many are the times that I've been riding high on a wave of high rolls, only to get cocky and have the dice take me down a peg with a critical failure. Dice have a mind of their own, and personalities. Like any good relationship, it pays to know how to work with your dice to get their best performance.

Not all these tips will work for every gamer or their dice, so be prepared to experiment.

Be Faithful

Dice are often fickle, but they expect constancy from us. When a particular die rolls badly a few times in a row, it's often a test. Do we like it just for the high rolls, or for itself? If you switch off to a new die hoping for high rolls, you've shown that your interest in the dice is shallow.

Dice stick together, so you can expect poor rolls from all your dice for the rest of the evening. Be faithful, and only switch dice after a high roll.

Avoid Dice Cleansing Rituals

You'll find a lot of role players who swear by dice cleansing. This involves performing some sort of ritual over the dice designed to purge evil energy from them, and thus restore their high rolls. Dice cleansing ignores the fundamental fact of dice: they have minds of their own.

Your dice aren't rolling poorly because of evil energy, they're rolling poorly because they're pissed off at you. Dice cleansing is like approaching an argument with your significant other by waving incense in his face and chanting. Don't expect good results.

You Cannot Trick Dice

So you have a set of dice that just won't roll high for you? Don't try switching to a game that rewards low rolls. The dice aren't rolling low because of chance, they're rolling low because they know that isn't what you want. Switch games, and now they'll start to roll high.

You can't trick the dice.

Use A Little English

Giving your dice a spin as you roll them often helps to encourage them to their best efforts. The dice appreciate the extra effort you're putting into the relationship, and will respond. Just remember to put a little variety into your rolls. Nobody likes it when you do the same thing to them over and over.

Don't Be Too Clingy

Many people like to hold their dice in their closed hands before each roll. A little bit of that is fine, and gives your dice a warm, fuzzy feeling. But too much just seems like you're relying on them too much, and will lead to poor rolls.

And whatever you do, don't descend to threatening your dice! If you hit that low point in your relationship with your dice, you might be better off giving them to a gamer who will appreciate them, and start with a fresh set from the factory.

I hope these dice rolling tips are of some help in maintaining a healthy relationship with your dice. Have fun rolling!