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Find Your Peace in Being Obese
It's important for us, no matter what size we are, to love ourselves right where we are today. Sure, we may not like certain things about ourselves. But then again, does anybody really love everything they were born with?
Having inner peace means that we accept who and where we are right at this given moment. If we are not at peace within ourselves, then we will not appreciate the journey ahead that we may be getting ready to embark upon. For me, that journey is obesity and my continuing struggles while working my way out of that particular medical category.
Do you struggle with accepting yourself daily? I'm not referring to the dislike of your current weight, or the type of hairstyle that you have. I'm not talking about your demographical location, or the lifestyle you live. I'm talking about self-love. If we do not have self-love, then we will never feel worthy of change. We will never respect ourselves enough to want to change anything.
To love yourself right where you're at means to look at your self in a bigger and brighter light, beyond the external images that we all view in the mirror. You must realize that you are in this world for a reason, and that you deserve to be happy. You deserve to have peace in your life. Take a moment right now and stand in front of a mirror, and ask yourself this question: "What do I love about myself today?"
For me, this was a very difficult process to undergo when I was asked to perform it. I had tried and struggled for years to lose the 100+ pounds that I had gained since my daughters death in 2002. However, I never quite felt worthy of losing weight and getting myself healthy again because I had hated who I had become. I carried a lot of guilt in not being able to save my daughter, and it came out emotionally in the form of overeating. I could not stand to look at my self in the mirror, any mirror, or in any type of reflection. It was just too painful. I felt so ugly, so disgusting, so unworthy.
Finally, one day I just decided to take my biggest fear and come face to face with it because I was tired of being obese. I looked in the mirror and gently said, "I love you, Kymberly. I love you today, I love you fat, I love you unhealthy, and I love you enough to make you my priority. From today forward, I will love you daily, and I will love you unconditionally." This is a true story. And I have taken this promise to heart ever since.
After having that life-changing moment with myself, I decided to enter a contest that I had seen online. I realized that in order to overcome my biggest fear (the fear of people seeing my body unmasked from my baggy clothing style statement)and to finally be free of the 'bondage' that fear had over me, I would reveal my body to the world~ and in a bikini, of all things! What a scary, nerve-wrecking, anxiety-ridden moment for me. But I did it! I posted my 'before' pictures on the website for the world to see.
Do you want to know why I did that? Because in order to find my inner-peace, I had to stop allowing the world to define me by my size, my weight, and my looks. That was the most freeing moment that I can ever recall having in my entire life. Today, I no longer wear baggy clothing or look at myself in the mirror with hate and disgust. I have nothing left to hide. Therefore, there is nothing left to run from. I wake up every morning, and tell my self that I love 'me' and I make the best choices during that day that will lead to good health.
Sure, I make mistakes and bad decisions still. But I never look back at the failures from yesterday, and I never put myself down for a bad choice that I make regarding food or exercise. I put yesterday aside, and focus on today. One day at a time, and one positive thought at a time. I am happy with 'me' each day that I wake up, and that gives me the peace that I need to continue on with my journey of good health. It's all about progress, not perfection!
Just love yourself. Love and accept yourself enough to realize that you are worth being loved. You are worth being healthy, and you are worth having the life you dream of. If you haven't told yourself that you 'love' yourself yet, do it today! You'll finally have peace within yourself, and it really will make a world of difference in your day to day life.
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