The other day I opened my newest library book – a mystery, of course – and experienced the usual overpowering scent of cigarette smoke wafting up from its pages. I got to wondering if the typical mystery fan is a smoker. I mean, I ALWAYS smell cigarettes on the library copies of mysteries! I’m not a smoker myself (which is probably why I notice the cigarette-smell), but I could always be an exception, right?

Is there a typical mystery fan? Do mystery fans tend to get their mysteries from the library like I do? And why? Because they’re thrifty?

Maybe, but that’s where I’m an exception again. I tend to spend money freely. I only get books at the library because I don’t want a build-up of finished books to fill the rooms of my house. So are mystery fans “neat-freaks” then?

Okay, so we’ve got our “typical mystery fan” who gets books at the library to save money (perhaps for more cigarettes). What else can we deduce? Cigarette-smokers these days have a rebellious image. So maybe the typical mystery fan has a problem with authority? I have to admit that I don’t care much for authority myself.

Is it a stretch to assume that maybe your typical mystery fan fantasizes about breaking the rules? Or even – (gasp) – the law? (Big “no comment” here!) Remember that notorious Rolling Stones lyric about every cop being a criminal?

Not to have the attention span of a flea or anything, but this turns my thoughts towards occupations for the typical mystery fan. I actually tend to DISBELIEVE that law-enforcement personnel are mystery fans. Certainly, I’m not in law-enforcement.

I think that cops and lawyers are already immersed in the criminal world, and it would be absolute overkill (no pun intended) to have to read about it once they get off the job. I’m betting that they are major science-fiction or romance fans: talk about needing some escapism! Now, reporters on the other hand … it seems that every other mystery I read was written by a former newspaper writer on the crime beat. You’ve got to be a mystery fan to write one.

Is the typical mystery fan a man or a woman? I have no idea. You just can’t generalize about that the way you can assume that most romance readers are women. Probably young boys gravitate more towards mysteries than fairy tales because of issues of how manly they want to appear. But the numbers of men and women as mystery fans may be equal. I also hesitate to assume a typical age group for mystery fans.

So I invite you mystery fans to visit the forum and give feedback in a new poll I’m setting up: Who is the Typical Mystery Fan? Maybe together we can solve that mystery.