If there is one thing we have in common as mothers, or even as women, it is the voice of our mother. Either we feel we have turned into her on some days or we feel she has greatly influenced our destiny, for greater or for worse.

I hear my mom’s words coming out of my mouth often. Setting that aside, I also feel that she has influenced me, mostly for the better. However you know when and how you’ve been affected negatively. As parents we wonder if we can overcome the phenomena and choose a new destiny for our daughters, but how?

The Mother Factor: How Your Mother’s Emotional Legacy Impacts Your Life by Stephan B. Poulter, PhD addresses this issue. If we aren’t sure what we are doing wrong Dr. Poulter will point out which type of mother we’ve become…and perhaps how our children will turn out, every mom’s dream. Hopefully through this self-discovery we will become the "complete mother."

To be a great mom, it is a disservice to us and our families to not explore the impact our mothers had on our lives. Dr. Poulter’s The Mother Factor: How Your Mother’s Emotional Legacy Impacts Your Life is just the tool to get you to the right place.

The Mother Factor discusses the five common types of mothering we fall into; The Perfectionist Mother, The Unpredictable Mother, The Me First Mother, The Best Friend Mother and The Complete Mother.

One mothering type that is on the rise is the best friend mother. We read the celebrity headlines and it is easy to figure out that our daughters don’t need a best friend. They need loving parents. Dr. Poulter likens “best friend” moms to “absent fathers” and it is easy to see why. Surprisingly though it seems to be a trend to buddy up with one’s daughter. 30-40 percent of moms are considered “best friend” moms.

If we are doing anything right and are not a “best friend” mom we still may have some baggage to unload. Want to feel exposed? Read this book. You may be surprised at what you find out about yourself.

One woman said of her mother “I am living my mother’s life. She said to be single. I am single. She said live alone, be happy and don’t allow anyone to control you. I have done everything my mother wanted. She died twenty years ago but she is still very alive in my life today. I have just the life she wanted.”

As I read that quote from a fifty-eight-year old woman I reflected on what would my own daughter say someday about me. What would how she lived her life reflect on how I loved her?

We all want to be better parents. Mostly we forgive our own parents and forget our past, we surmise that we've moved on and will do better, if not all is forgiven again. Consider for a moment that you are not doing better and read The Mother Factor. There are question and answer sections, checklists and in depth chapter analysis of each of the five mothering types.

Dr. Poulter’s goal is to get you to become the Complete Mother, the mothering type that will have no qualms about reading this book. You may find that you need to rewrite your “Rule Book” and in doing so you’ll change your daughter’s life.

The Mother Factor: How Your Mother’s Emotional Legacy Impacts Your Life by Stephan B. Poulter, PhD. is available directly from Prometheus Books and OneMotherFactor.com where you’ll also find Dr. Poulter’s Good Morning America interview.

A licensed clinical family psychologist, Dr. Stephan B. Poulter has also authored “The Father Factor” and co-authored “Mending the Broken Bough: Restoring the Promise of the Mother and Daughter Relationship,” along with other book projects on similar topics.