Guest Author - Paula Petrie
The dictionary defines conversation as social intercourse . It is the place where minds meet. Connecting an individual with the thoughts and soul of another.
Conversation is the merging of different origins, different cultures and different perspectives--the way in which we view things. How a human communicates can define their quality of living. A person’s words become part of who they are.
Something you control and can always improve upon, is what you say and how you react to what is said. To avoid being judged for saying what you don’t mean, and to be able to respond to a claim that throws you off balance; slow down and think about what you hear, what you feel, and what you say. Learning to reason through a conversation helps everyone.
Speaking to someone in a kind and quiet tone of voice gives your listener a peaceful feeling before your words are even heard so he or she can really listen to what you have to say. You’ve in fact hypnotized your listener with your charm. A gentle voice can even calm an angry outburst. Learning to remain calm and reasonable gives the person lost to strong emotion, a beacon to return to.
Words hold power. Kind words truly do help and heal, however, you need to be aware of the strength of other words you choose. Sometimes silence is your wisest action.
Conversation power-play no-no’s:
Shouting words. The listener becomes preoccupied with self- defense.
Being negative or giving commands like can’t, don’t, and never. When
someone is trying to express their point of view or idea, practice patience. You may find they weren’t all wrong and alter your opinion (a bit) or blend
two ideas into one really great inspiration!
Using abusive or sarcastic language as with name calling, swearing,
and putdowns like stupid. These cause defensive anger. Possibly, an explosion of it.
If you feel yourself becoming hot and irritated by what has been said to you, there could be a number of reasons; defensive anger has many starting points:
1: feeling afraid
2: being hurt
3: being unable to deal with something
4: feeling let down or betrayed
5: frustration, and
6: jealousy.
A stray cat will react with hissing and claws ready if frightened. A domesticated cat will judge the threat before it gets too miffed. What is miffing you? When you identify the emotional trigger for your anger, you have also found understanding.
Congratulations, understanding is the essence of mature conversation. While this increased knowledge may not instantly cure your problem it helps you see more clearly, paving the way to a better conversation.
