Guest Author - Kelli Deister

One of the questions on the survey I recently held, was whether or not the hearing people that participated in the survey felt sorry for those that have deafness. Fifty-six percent of the participants said they do feel sorry for them. Forty-four percent said they do not.

To feel sorry for someone is to pity them. Pity is an emotion that people feel for someone that is facing difficult challenges. For example, one might feel pity for a person that has terminal cancer because they know the person won’t live very long and is faced with imminent death. However, one should not pity the Deaf. To pity them is equivalent to saying that they are facing a terrible circumstance or challenge. To pity them is to say that they are less fortunate than people who can hear. This, I believe, is the underlying root of problems between both the hearing and Deaf communities.

I was raised hearing, so I am well aware of the stereotyping that occurs towards those that cannot hear. My sister-in-law has been an interpreter for nearly thirty years now. Stereotypical behaviors have been problematic for many years. Hearing people oftentimes cannot fathom living in their world without the capability to hear. Their entire lives are geared towards the sounds they hear. Therefore, to lose that ability can be devastating to them. That is why, when introduced to a person that is Deaf, they automatically feel pity or sorrow for them. Their pity is merely based on the person’s inability to hear sounds.

Please understand that the Deaf community comes from a very rich and vibrant history. As a matter of fact, the biggest challenge that a Deaf person might face, in my opinion, is when they find themselves feeling as though they are less than another human being because they can’t hear. Deaf people have a culture that is unique. It is a culture of overcoming insurmountable discrimination. It is a culture containing a wealth of pride among its members. It is a culture that boasts of many successful individuals. Lastly, it is a culture that has been alive and well for a very long time.

No, don’t pity the Deaf. Instead, respect them. They don’t want your pity and they certainly don’t want you to feel sorry for them. Deaf individuals are just like everybody else. They have the same passions, desires, fears, dreams, and goals that hearing people have. Deaf people have proven over the years that they are quite capable of succeeding in this world. Their main barrier to success, truthfully, is that of the hearing worlds belief systems that say they cannot be successful because they cannot hear.

Deaf people play basketball, baseball, football, soccer etc., as well as holding competitions and tournaments. They attend community events. There are even some Deaf bands. I have had the privilege of listening to one Deaf band. The time for stereotypical behavior to end, is now. To pity a Deaf person is to lack respect for them. I say this because when we pity another person, we feel sorry that they are enduring what they are.

However, to respect a Deaf person is to acknowledge that all human beings, regardless of their ability to hear or see, are equal to one another. To respect the Deaf is to respect their culture. To respect them is to acknowledge that they are your equal and no one is less fortunate than the other, merely because of their inability to see or hear.