Guest Author - Teresa Greene

Dressing a guy as a woman is tougher than you might think. There are a few characteristics that, while we love them about our GUYS, are not so great when we try to costume them as GALS.

First, guys are generally bigger than women. They are taller, they have bigger bones, and they have bigger muscles. Chances are that very little in your feminine closet is going to fit your man. Hence, a shopping trip to the local thrift shop is in order! Look for women’s clothing in the 1, 2, or 3 X sizes, or the 16-22W sizes. These clothes are designed for the full-figured femme fatale and are cut to accommodate larger frames and bodies. You don’t want your guy to be restricted in his movement, and if there is a little extra fabric where it shouldn’t be, the smart use of a trendy belt, brooch, or other accessory can help take up that slack.

Second, guys have a different shape than women. Most notably, they lack the curves of a woman’s bosom and hips. Guys tend to have either a straight or a Y-shaped figure; and then there are always those that sport the beloved pot-belly! In any case, guys at the very least are going to need some means by which to support a false bosom. Bras are not always the best solution to this. Since guys are larger than women, they have broader chest measurements than gals. They may have a 48 inch chest…. ever seen a bra that is a 48B sized bra? Probably not. Larger bra sizes usually come with larger cup sizes, and this may cause your guy to look out of proportion. An easy solution to this is to buy an inexpensive pair of bra cups that are sewn into swimsuits at your local fabric store in the cup size that looks right on your man. Placing the cups on your guy’s chest, stuff them with rolled up socks (toilet paper compacts too easily), and then hold in place with ace bandages. Overstuff the cups because the pressure from the ace bandages will compress them somewhat. This will help make your guy….er….gal (?) more natural. A little padding on the hips and derriere may also be in order to give him that flirty, “girlish figure.”

Because guys are generally taller than gals, they can carry off fashion looks that are belted or otherwise emphasize the waist pretty well (unless they’ve got that adorable pot-belly!) Choose fashions and colors that complement your guy’s shape and coloring just like you would for yourself. Highlight his good features, and downplay the not-so-good ones. If his coloring is sallow, don’t dress him in yellow. Put him in rich shades of browns and greens. If his coloring is ruddy or tan, try vibrant jewel-tones. If he’s a little on the pale side, try cool colors and pastels. Don’t overdo the makeup either. A little goes a long way on a man. Use makeup from the neutral palette for the best results. If your guy has bushy eyebrows and a prominent brow ridge, go easy on the eye-makeup. You don’t want to emphasize his more masculine features if you’re trying to pass him off as a girl. On the other hand, if pretty is not the goal, and you’re hoping for a barrel of laughs, then exaggerate all you want!

Last--let’s face it; guys tend to be hairy creatures. And all that hair looks great on them because they’re guys. When trying to pass as a woman, however, all that hair may not look so good. If you’re going for the “authentic” look, the hair will have to go, but the thought of shaving all that fuzz may not be too appealing (ouch!) The easy answer is to use a cream hair remover. These creams are gentle on the skin, eliminate the pulling that can occur with a razor, and help prevent ingrown hairs and infected follicles when all that hair starts to grow back. It may take a couple of applications based on the thickness and coarseness of the hair, and it’s probably not a good idea to rinse all that hair into the drain. Try removing as much of it as possible with a washcloth or paper towel first.

These are just a few considerations when it comes time for your guy to impersonate you. You can try for the truly authentic, is-it-really-him look, or you can just have fun and make him look as crazy as guys dressed as women sometimes do. Whichever way you go, keep the camera and plenty of make-up remover handy, and have fun!