Guest Author - Alice Rienzo

As young men and women get older, their thoughts naturally turn to the teachings of our church about the importance of family. We are a family centered church and marriage for all eternity is a righteous desire of many young adults entering the dating scene.

As Young Men and Women leaders, you have the extra responsibility of teaching the youth the importance of keeping standards while dating and eventually courting. This can be a hard thing to do. Dating and courting is not the same today as it was years ago. Add to that the difference between the worlds view on dating and the churches view and many youth can become terribly confused.

The best way to approach the topic of dating is by reviewing the guidelines the Prophets and his counselors have set forth for our youth. In For the Strength of Youth we read:

"...Date only those who have high standards and in whose company you can maintain your standards. A young man and a young woman on a date are responsible to help each other maintain their standards and to protect each other’s honor and virtue ... Do not date until you are at least 16 years old. Dating before then can lead to immorality ... and deprive you of experiences that will help you choose an eternal partner."

It continues on to advise young couples to go out on group dates when they first enter the dating scene, avoid frequent dates with the same person, introduce your date to your parents, and plan activities that are positive and help you stay close to the spirit of the Lord.

It is important for our youth to know that dating is a way in which we grow towards finding our eventual eternal companion. It is not likely for a persons first date to be the eternal companion they will go to the temple with. Dating while still in high school should be a time of making friends and gaining experience and confidence with the joys and hurts of dating.

Young women should take care when dating to help the young men they are with to maintain a standard that helps them prepare for their mission. And, young men as well should take care to encourage young women to uphold the young women's values and grow spiritually as well.

Courtship, while similar to dating is taking things a step beyond. Courtship occurs when both the young man and young woman decide that they care about each other and would like to date only that person with he hopes that they may eventually decide to get married. Ideally, courtship should occur after the young man has returned from his mission and the young lady has entered Relief Society.

Courtship consists of meeting each other’s families and getting to know one another on a level that could lead to eternal marriage. I like to consider this stage the question stage. This is the time to get down to the nitty-gritty of each others past, weaknesses, strengths, goals, expectations, etc. You cannot expect to marry someone without taking the time to get to know him or her in depth beforehand. Communication must be established before an engagement.

As Youth Leaders, you will undoubtedly grow very fond of the youth you teach and mentor and hope they achieve all of their potential. To help you in teaching the youth about the standards and expectations of dating the following resources can be used in lessons and activities. Also, check out the related links below for more articles about dating.

Young Women
For the Strength of Youth
Personal Progress- Divine Nature #2, Choice & Accountability #6
Guidebook for Parents and Leaders of Youth
True to the Faith- Chastity, Marriage
YW Manual 1- Lesson #16, #18, #31
YW Manual 2- Lesson #15
YW Manual 3- Lesson #5, #18, #35, #36

Young Men
For the Strength of Youth
Duty To God-Priest: Citizenship & Social Development #2, #4
Guidebook for Parents and Leaders of Youth
True to the Faith- Chastity, Marriage
YM Manual 1- Lesson #28
YM Manual 2- Lesson #37, #44
YM Manual 3- Lesson #30, #31, #33

This week's article has been written by Amy Daniels.