Guest Author - Angela Glenn
In this faster paced hectic world that parents live in today it has somehow become harder to say no and stick to it. But it is more important than ever that as parents we not only tell our kids no but stick to it. Because weíre tired from long, demanding days at work we sometimes donít have the energy to fight with our kids when we refuse their demands. Or as some parents of today have been accused, we want to be their friends too. But parenting is the biggest job of our life and our largest contribution to society. Here is why it is so vital that we say no and stick to it.
We are the authority. Kids are not going to graduate high school and be their own boss. Teachers and employers want to be able to tell them no and expect them to accept it and comply. They do not accept and will probably not tolerate them questioning their authority or thinking it is okay to disobey. They need to know how to obey and deal with the disappointment of having their demands or wants refused.
Giving in to your child can lead to poor self discipline. If they think all they have to do to get what they want is whine, beg, abuse or manipulate someone to get something they want, they never learn the importance of self discipline to achieve their goals. For instance, if thereís something theyíre demanding they want whether itís your permission to do something or a purchase of some kind, use that as an opportunity to teach them the importance of earning something rather than it being given to them. This will also enforce the importance of work ethic as well as self discipline.
Enforcing your decision and executing consequences for their negative reactions or disobedience teaches them a sense of accountability. Giving in to their demands and not sticking to your initial no response enforces a lack of accountability. Adolescents will sometimes in response to a refusal will still do what they desired even though you said no. This is the point where even if what they did wasnít that major of an issue, it is so important to still hold them accountable for disobeying and issue a consequence. There are consequences for poor decisions in adulthood and even though they will make mistakes, they need to know how to be accountable for poor decisions and disobedience. Again, in the working world, disobedience will be followed with consequences.
Not telling your kid no and not sticking to it gives them a sense of entitlement, which has become a huge complaint of society towards todayís youth. Life is hard and as a parent our job is to prepare them for the real world. The real world is not going to hand them everything they desire. Success in the real world comes with hard work, knowing how to try and fail and pushing forward through that failure towards success. Someone that has a sense of entitlement because they were rarely told no does not know how to achieve success through hard work.
We donít want to disappoint our children and hate to fight with them and see them upset, but telling them no and sticking to it will help them build character and important values that will help them as they enter the adult world.